July 13, 2010

Am I Ladylike? Am I a Girl-Child Stuck in a Time Warp? Yes!

This is me at a party, all Vijay Vigilante'd and sharaabified!

Tagged by the wonderful Banno, I read Memsaab's honest post and I thought I had to put my own two cents in of course! There are many types of women, but I fall into the fringes of being a gal, I'm just too wacky for people or I'm a museum relic for people to observe. So here for you all,
are the 10 ways of how odd or how absolutely fascinating I am, that obviously fit outside the stereotype of a typical strong yet emotional or irrational woman! Of course being raised as a filmi Youth, there's gonna be tons of filminess and masala to explain what an odd creature I am! Here we go:

Wake up Sid - Story of my life!

1. I'm aimless at the moment! I am going into University with the biggest fears of my life: bigger classes, more people, living in a remote city half the way across my own city of Vancouver! By god, I'm nervous to hell, but unlike other gals and friends I have, I don't know what I want to do with my life right now. I took a journalism course for two terms, flunked the second term with two explosively terrible grades and got sent out. Being out that program is when the aimlessness started, I took a few English courses here and there and of course the usual film courses! But I'm undecided right now when tons of my friends and gals have a path they are slowly carving out, I on the other hand am just starting out and waking up the big wide world! I wouldn't mind teaching film or being a critic but godammit these recession times are awful for journalists, many being fired from their newspapers. Which gives me the aimless feeling of: WHAT THE HELL DO I WANT?

2. I dress absolutely batshit and bonkers! If I see bright colours and patterns then I am sooo picking that up and buying it! This mad wardrobe of mine started of course from Bollywood with the funkadelic "Purab aur Pacchim" where Saira Banu wore the most crazy printed dresses and had the eyeliner that sold me till this day! Those big wings on her eyeliner are usually taken to the extreme by me at times in my youth, sometimes I probably looked like a fancy dress artist at school everyday. But once I saw that film and countless others, I am permanently stuck in the 50's, 60's, and 70's era of funkadelic dressing! This habit definitely costs me as there are two amaazing vintage shops in Vancouver that I always go to, I found my prom dresses there and it certainly burns a whole through my pocket every time I usually have money! This crazy dress style causes many people on the streets, eyes pop and smile or look at me as if I am utterly nuts! But what can I do? Most gals have their own conventional style in this city, either they're a hipster with their pretentious oversized glasses, lumberjack shirts, and skinny jeans or going for the conventional stuff. Hopefully I'm breaking the mold in my own nutso way!

3. I'm too dreamy! This is unfortunately true of me, because I'm extremely impractical and illogical in my thinking. I dream to be President, Ruler of the Masala Universe, Filmi Professor of the Manmohan Desai School of Masala, but it takes me a couple of blunders to get these mad ambitions in order! My maaw, bless her all that nagging and lecturing does go in my ears, stays there for a few ponderous serious minutes, then jumps to the back of the line in my very dreamy head! I want to be soo many things but I am just daydreaming about it and will get to it when i feel like it, which works for me but is unfortunate at times!

4. I'm the laziest git you'll ever meet! I am a lazy bitch that doesn't do the dishes on time, forgets to do the recycling after a week, leaves my clothes all over the room. In short, I can't be arsed to do all these chores. Living away from home this fall, will teach me some pointers on hopefully to avoid this shtick of mine! My laziness also extends to my school where I've messed up a ton of times, ranging from the bad to the catastrophic. This trait of mine is extremely terrible and I can't help but feel like an idiot because the things I haven't done because of this. But slowly like other gals I will get over this! I think I just expect things to fall into my lap without me doing anything which is completely unladylike, I ACTUALLY HAVE TO DO STUFF! Ohh well I'm improving day by day!
Yes I'm just as reckless as Robert Stack in "Written on the Wind"

5. I am gluttonous! I think the two bad kids in "Written on the Wind" were my predecessors, all that bad behavior by Robert Stack and Dorothy Malone is the same alley as mine! I live paycheck to paycheck and impulsively splurge on anything I set my eye on! Unfortunately these are all meaningless things like tons of sweets and food that are devoured feverishly, DVDs that I get cheap but still splurge on, CDs, vintage clothes, There's really nothing to show for it, like most other good gals save their paisa but I take all the paisa out and go crazy with my gluttonous eye!

6. I HOOVER UP FOOD! Yes this another facet of my gluttonous personality, I eat far too much. I'm always reminded of a scene in Merchant-Ivory's "The Householder" with Shashi and Leela Naidu, this summarizing scene is when Shashi is at his boss' place, trying to impress him, while his wife Leela gleefully tucks into all the food laid out, hoovering up all the mitai, getting bad looks from Shashi. THAT IS MEEEE! If I'm out somewhere and there's food then I'm gobbling it all down, receiving bad looks from the 'rents or my friends! I can't help it I LOVE FOOOOD! Especially chocolate, chocolate cake to be specific, and just a few weeks back I got the first slice of the birthday mousse chocolate cake before the bday gal, which made me feel besharam after, but she knew I wanted it first!
If only romance was like that!

7. I'm cynical about pyar! Yes I'll admit this on the World Wide Web, I've had my dil toota by a certain person at my own prom! Yess at my goddamn prom, which sucked and a few other rejections like that followed. For all the Yashraj films I inhale everyday, I know unfortunately that there's no such Raj/Rahul out there that wouldn't mind twirling about in the Swiss mountains or give me an impassioned speech. Unfortunately these few upsets in my life, made me into a grizzled Bette Davis spewing acid lines to the random bartender lol!

8. I'm independent so leave me alone! I really don't like people who are too clingy to me, my friends all know that thankfully and don't hassle me, but when it suits me I'll hassle them till they come and hang with me! I don't like people invading my private time, which is hard when I have my sister off on summer holidays! I don't need your help, and suggestions on things I know or usually I let anyone know when they are getting attached to my hip! I really don't mind doing things for myself like going to the cinema alone, which can be a very transcendental experience between me and that big screen, that is better off without someone else next to me! I go shopping and wandering by myself, and it doesn't feel awkward and weird to be by myself, because I need some me-time before being with friends all the time!

Me on a very bad day!

9.I am moodier than most! Perhaps this is due to me being a touchy Scorpion! But I can sulk for ages and if someone does me wrong I never forget and I used to hold grudges for a while! If you piss me off then I'll become all grizzly and turn into this:
GRRRR Rum the Angry Young Gal!

10. I am passionate about Film! I'm part of a very bad generation of kids that can't appreciate a good Black & White films, which just tears my insides up! Why is it that people can't sit through a "My Man Godfrey" but flock to mindless rubbish "Transformers" I often feel like hitting people who offend my love for film like a few friends of mine, that go "AWW that was so boring!" after seeing Casablanca! I guess after being a filmi kid for soo long I expect others to appreciate the sheer magic of a Hepburn-Grant screwball comedy or the thrills of a James Cagney gangster picture! But any boys out there, if you can sit through all 208 minutes of Seven Samurai and come out with a happier face and a filmi thought, then send me a prem patra right away!

I don't know if I got this assignment right, but these are some of the quirky things about me that just defy the norm in some good ways and bad, but thats me, Masala RUM!


Ness said...

crazy good post, I feel like we have waaaaay too much in common, long lost sister. WAY TOO MUCH. it's freaking me out.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Rum, for doing this. Loved reading it. I am a dreamer too, hoping for things to fall into my lap, and I love b/w films. :) And everything shiny and bright, though I don't often indulge.

bollywooddeewana said...

What a great read, so refreshing honest

Navtaq said...

Point number 10 is where you should concentrate. The day I find I'm passionate about something, I'm gonna kick some serious ass!

Also, I love your blog .. totttal filmy and masaledar! :)