April 13, 2011

Masala Moods by Dr Rum - Part 1

Anil is seething with my long absence as Empress of the Masala Pradesh!

I really sincerely apologize for leaving this great nation for such a long time. But with 3000 word film essays, my postcolonial art book, and just generally life I had to leave for a while. That's not to say I didn't read last month's 'Deol Dhamaka' like a proper blogger would, but I would have loved to have reviewed a few. Lekin fikr not as my grandma says, I AM BACK! Finished up school but now onto exams, but I thankfully have time to devote to myself.

If you've been following me on Twitter, then you'd recognize all these upcoming snazzy Masala symptoms or mood encapsulators! There is an actor and actress that can embody any symptom or mood you might be feeling when say your dog shits on a new rug, I'd classify that as a FURIOUS FEROZ! Or when you are very happy and feel like singing then you'd be a Lilting LATA! Onwards we go with Part 1 of probably many!
1. Moody Vijaya - My personal favourite that I coined. You know when you're a MV when you are prone to having slanging matches with the gods at a temple, when life treats you unfairly. This was the first symptom of a full-blown Masala Maniac that I had experienced, especially during the essay crunch time, I would become Moody when reading all these identity probing articles for my postcolonial class. I would adopt a snarl, and have a bombastic dialogue likely written by Salim and Javed if someone annoyed me. This phase can last for a while, but every Moody Vijay(a) has a counterpoint of being a Vivacious Vijay, but sometimes this defeats the purpose when adopting an 'Angry Young Man/Woman' stance in life.

2. Sunny Shashi - Now this may be a conflicting one because we have a Sunny Deol who is quite Sunny in some films. This works far better with Shashi, because this mood works just dandy when you are friends with a Moody Vijay above. A happy and cheery demeanor is what we all strive for as Masala patients. Sunny Shashi symptoms includes smiling at everyone in a crooked and cute way, having an abundance of manic energy without drinking gallons of coffee or sweets, and generally being endearing and lightening up any folk you meet. A Sunny Shashi may not always be extremely sunny but this happy and cheerful edge to such a mood works to your advantage if you manage balance this overabundance out.

3. Gutted Guru - the predecessor to a Moody Vijay mood. A Gutted Guru mood is when you have become a hardened and bitter soul where nothing can brighten your ennui. Symptoms include seeing life is a series of sad and ironic events, no woman or man can break through your wall till you turn into a Less than Gutted Guru. Poetry and drinks are usually a must for this mood, as some of the best musings about the world come in a drunken stupor. A breakup or upset with the current state of your nation may be the cause for such depression but a likely respite from these troubles may come from a kindly woman or man who love you despite your selfishness.
4. Weepy Asha - A mood that afflicts us all. A Weepy Asha is a self-sacrificing type of trait where you cannot help but burst into tears at the slightest upset. Moving house? Tears. See a cute picture of bunnies snuggling upto baby puppies? Supreme tears. This mood usually starts after a seemingly balanced All-Rounded Asha, but due to machinations created by this mood or by parents you devolve into this mood. This mood is easily resolved when the love of your life leaves everything for you, but the inescapable tears always flow!
You are frequently found in this thoughtful stance
5. Meaningful Manoj - or in other words a Hipster Manoj. Always eager to voice concerns over the nation, diaspora, and every single issue that interests you, I would classify you as a Meaningful Manoj. Symptoms of this mood include passionate speeches, visualizing your life in crazy but social critique looking camera angles, and of course covering one's face every time you feel a bother of ennui or exasperation at another person's ignorance. On this list, I would say that a Meaningful Manoj is the best to have a gang of a Sunny Shashi, a Moody Vijaya, and an upcoming Swaggering Shotgun to voice your concerns and win election votes in the Masala Pradesh.

Thanks for tuning in for an upcoming series on the Dr.Rum Oz show of Masala Moods, and I will definitely be back with some more fabulous and encompassing moods such as the Scandalous Saira, the Stylish Sadhana, the KRAZZY Kishore, and more S's and R's to be thought of. Which of the above suits you?