The Filmi Nationalism Years: Masala Poetry

I thought to myself today, when i was tidying up my exercise books from high school, and found a pattern. Masala or filminess was in my veins, and in my writing, I couldn't help but say to my friends, "Ya know isn't Vijay the Vigilante such a confusing anti-hero?" or "OMG i love Saira Banu's print dresses in this film!"
My friends got used to these blurted out utterings as it was part of my BollyHollymusicalitis. Many stays over at my house, they all were converted to Bollywoodism, in my grade 12 year I attempted to make a short film that naturally was all Bollywood, I wrote the silly script which was soo convoluted and abound in cliches. This film was a fluke as I got lazy, actors were unavailable, but mostly I got lazy.
But my filmi nationalism continued to come out in my Creative Writing class which I got my first consecutive A for each of the three terms! Alas filmi nationalism didnt extend to science and maths which I was terrible at! To put all this rambling to a stop, here is some of the filmi poems that I wrote back then! They are horrendously cheeesy and not that great, but i couldn't not post my silly years!

The Burning Train
Funky music, the buuurrrrning traainn, coos Asha
On this Super Express to somewhere
3 heroes, destinies intertwined on this blazing train
One clad in a Travolta suit, following the heiress
Gold jewels and gem of a girl, he wants
A handsome rogue, clap goes his energetic hands
Drumming on his knees and between the aisles,
What a handsome rogue is he
Here he comes, cigarrette dangling, ooff go the women on the train
Who is he? A macho man, lovesick by his unfaithful wife
Passengers he charms, children he saves, and women swoon for him
Admonishing the villain, youuuu son of a baastarrdd
Speaking in english, he commands the audience with laughter
Dharam gets garam, running through fire to save all
The train is blazing and burning, only an intelligent hero can help
Bellbottom clad, with swagger in walk and knowlegable talk
Vinod, explain what to do, save your son on the fuming train
Three heroes unite in silver suits warring against fire
Useless servants that left gas on, the cause of this catastrophe
Silver suits kick away at the villain
Falling to his death on the traintracks
Hugs, and chest hugs returned as the Super Xpress burns away
Women swoon in thanks, men gruffly congratulate
Thank you our sexy silver suited saviours!

(OMG I actually wrote this rotten piece, I had a far more eloquent other poem on The Burning Train but couldn't find it today! I will find it if it kills me, this poem is awfully bad, but hilariously terrible too. I just recited the whole storyline!)

Pantoum
Dark hair glistening and blowing in the wind
Her arms outspread in the field
Golden ghungroos stamping at the earth,
She spins like a delicate cotton wheel (crossed out was cow bell, how ddlj!)

Her arms outspread in the field
A name she whispers to the air

She spins like a delicate cotton wheel

Bring me my Saawariya

A name she whispers to the air

Each moment of effort makes her pant

Bring me my Saawariya

Her dance is felt across his town of blue

Each moment of effort makes her pant

The feet marching to her heartbeat

Her dance is felt across his town of blue

Even in his cold heart, saregama warms his heart (LOLOL Saregama!)

The feet marching to her heartbeat

Dark hair glistening and blowing in the wind

Even felt in his cold heart, saregama warms his heart

Golden anklets stamping at the earth

(This pantoum is where you repeat lines in different stanzas, its pretty cheesy I wrote it quickly in spare block before this, and maybe it helped that I'd seen Saawariya the previous night as part of my birthday along with Om Shanti Om! Its a role reversal here, that nasty Sonam is asking for Ranbir's love in that blue town!)

Things That Won't Happen Today

A huge cloud comes over the school and it hails

A miraculous announcement of a snow day

Gene Kelly dancing around lamposts with me

English teacher gives his fellow Englishwoman an A

Shahrukh Khan bursting into this class, and carrying me away

The boy I like to jump to his knees, singing a disco qawalli of his love

That my friends would be silenced with a "Door Hojao mere nazron se" (Lol i guess i watched Shaan that night!)

A hangover will evaporate from my head

That someone athletic like Hritik will complete my Pe hours for me

The school will present a Bollywood tribute to me at graduation

My camera will come in the post

Like Gulzar, I'll master films and all poetry

Ranbir Kapoor will come to school in his bathrobe and I'm in one too!

That I get asked to prom (I did and he sucked)

Ranbir does a happy dance when i say I love you forever, unlike Sonam!

(I quite like this one, again this November 07, and I'd just seen Saawariya and was besotted by Ranbir Kapoor, and disgruntled at the ending of the film, but more importantly and more teenagerly I squealed when we saw his BUM, as did the ton of aunties in front and my mum gave me a withering look!)

A Sonnet: Dirty!

The rain dripping, clothes dropping to the floor

Bodies sway together in the moonlight

Hands moving up a sinewy surface with no fight

A roaming finger sends current to every pore

One body hides from the other in the dark,

An arm catching a time for a caress

Lips on lovers' cheek, leaving sparks

A feeling the mind needs to posess

The mouth calling for a name

Unspoken words, silenced by pleasures

The faceoff begins, circling eachother, let's start the game

A voice on the neck, something to treasure

A halki saas, say it softly, say it
Words form, 3 magical words, just admit it

(When i read this again, I went Hai Ram, Chi Chi, like Lalita Pawar would as a villainess, its pretty okay, it was inspired by the hilariously quick sex scene in Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna. It was shocking to me as it was "OMG SRK, SEX, EEEEEEEE" moment for me! How teenagerly and hormonal I was back then, not say i don't have the same reaction when i see Dard-E-Disco where its "OMG, SRK, WATER, ABS, EEEEEE!" Love my teacher who gave me 4/5 despite the terrible rhyming scheme!

7 Ways to Spot Devdas
The sea is his drink
Cleaning his dhoti, sipping the poison from the bottle
Chanting the last rites of his soul
Proclaiming the only name, he knew

The courtesan performing her mujra
Ghungroos stamping, arms flailing
Blood dripping, alcohol sipping
Death approaching him by the gutter

Creeping into the dark night
Laying her life at his feet
He turns away, ashamed
And into Kolkatta he runs

In a place of filth, a prince lies
Escaping his soul mate
A love so true can’t be found again
He is my Dev-da

Her breaths are his
Her heart is his
Her pride is his
Her devotion to her diya
His death is hers

Where is she?
Where is Paro?
Where can I find her?
Will she love me?
Can I say sorry to her?
Of course
All in this bottle

Three breaths left in him
Among the filth he lives
Lying on this marble floor
Two breaths left in him
Ohh why wait till now for the truth?
An arm baring his identity
His heart bears only one name
One breath left
Paro...

(I think this is one of my favorites or even best, I don't know its one of the poems on the same subject and I guess I must have watched the new Devdas and the old one to write this. It was a companion piece to my Saratchandra project where I wore a silly dhoti and acted like a drunk Sarat!)

Coconuts
Am I a coconut?

In the middle of the fence is a coconut
Too much, rock music and grungy looks
Too little Lata, Asha, Usha playing
Sooo many boys leaving my room
Sooo few Indian ones?
Small sneakouts to curfew breaking parties
Small meetings with good Southall girls
Less Saira Banu eyeliner or mini skirts
Less kurtas and lenghas are worn
Always with a gang of goras
Always ignoring your own kind

Which side will it fall, the mud or the sugar
More gym going, diet watching
More ladoos and gulab jamuns to be eaten
Ample breasts to be stared at
Ample time to buy turtlenecks
Few good reports from school
Few C-‘s and D’s on the destiny deciding paper
Big cars, Bhangra blaring, bass jumping
Big beemers, crackly Sunrise radio
Fat arms, bigger than your average
Fat chance of fitting in this sari blouse
Wads of cash from the job at Boots
Wads of cash could come from Auntyji’s newsagent

The coconut still on the fence, where to go?
Lots of mobiles, texting the mates, sending saucy pictures
Lots of Auntyji’s checking the dowry rates
Legions of boys asking for snogs in the parks
Legions of men viewing wife material
Tons of concerts, dancing among the vibrations
Tons of drunken uncles singing with no hesitation
Many drunken nights of haze and fun
Many days till you can have Shivas Regal
Gobs full with sweets and paan on birthdays
Gobs shoved with cake, hand fed from everyone in the room

Not in the mud, the sugar won’t recognize it
Mass numbers of people gathered at the bar
Mass numbers in year 12 Calculus
Many a body piercing and tattoo adorned in secret places
Many a look of shame from Auntyji’s in the street
Excess assimilation into the Western world
Excess traditions of the Eastern world
A lot of happiness in arty jobs
A lot of smug cousins in science, look with disdain
Hordes of whistling and whooping boys
Hordes of uncleji’s giving winks and pinches

Not in the sugar, the mud would shun it
Heaps of time to travel the world
Heaps of time in uni to be a lawyer doctor newsagent!
Loads of club hopping, bhangra gig going
Loads of intelligent books to be read
Only Bollywood films being researched
Only one facet of your Indianess
Coconuts under palm trees, on an Ibiza beach
Coconuts smashed to mark arrivals at doors
Coconuts at every doorstepCoconuts sitting on walls, forever in mud and in sugar

(I love this one, it was published in an anthology as well as a terrible piece on travelling in India, which is just godawful that I can't post it! But a coconut is what i felt I was during my "who am i?" phase of introspection! Lol it didnt last too long but I love this poem as it combines all my influences of London and India and not fitting in either culture~But like Chaplin said "I'm an internationalist!"

Classic Poem: Villanelle
Define skinny, define big, define plus size
Dirty looks, snide whispers, cruel laughter
Your perception is every girl’s demise

Magazines shoved in my face, that is you
I am normal, just bigger than the average
Define skinny, define big, define plus size

Why am I scorned and given that look
Because I am big, chunky, buxom, fat?
Your perception is every girl’s demise

Flabby arms, big breasts, wide hips, jiggly thighs
Must I be a size zero to look sexy, fit in any clothes?
Define skinny, define big, define plus size

Sizes don’t matter, it’s the feeling of sexy, the feeling of beautiful
A look of amazement and shock from boys and spectators
Your perception is every girl’s demise

I am sexy and beautiful revelling in my bigness
Words are just words; fat is just a word not my label
Your perception is every girl’s demise
Define skinny, define big, and define plus size

(Lol I don't wanna hammer it in everybody's head what I feel about the size zero fad, but trust me this was written before my ire grew for the new phase in Bollywood. This was written when I watched soo many old films where the heroines were bigger and bountiful and BEAUTIFUL, and it made me feel a bit happier about myself. I love it and its my uplifting poem!)

Hope you liked these cheezy and filmi nationalist poems I wrote in youth! Keep voting for your favorite Satan, it looks like a certain shaitaan in Pran will be the Satan of the Paradise lost Production here at the Masala Pradesh!

Jai Filmi Secret Santa-ji Jai!

I love this Filmi-Secret Santa in the Bolly blogosphere, as I'm a lazy girl I thought I'd post all my presents from my Secret Santa all in one go, and may i say whoever you are "I Luuve Youuuu" (this shouted in a hilarious Ranbir Kapoor way, like the end of Wake Up Sid)

My Secret Santa-Ji seems to know my tastes very well as my excellent first gift was:
AWWW SHEROOO, My Santa-ji also wrote out a lovely ditty of "Santa Sheroo" as sung to "Santa Baby":
Santa Sheroo
You save babies and, that's not all
You are oh so brave, and come at a call
Santa Sheroo, help the filmi fans tonight
Santa Sheroo
Could you fly some prezzies up Vancouver way?
Shiny costumes that swing and sway
Santa Sheroo, help the filmi fans tonight
Think of all the swag yet to send
Think of the films that never end
This year we'll try to do it right
So next year we can try again
Santa Sheroo
These bloggers aren't as troublesome as some
you see.
The filmi bloggers just dig you and Bolly
So, deliver love to filmi fans tonight!

On the second day my gift was this hilarious nugget:

With the little cap saying:

Masala villains arrive in Vancouver, prepared for nefarious doings. They are charmed by the decorations at the botanical gardens. Their hearts are warmed. Evil doing will have to wait another day.

My third gift was nicely tied in to my ANil pyar:

"Anil celebrates the lack of evil doing with the citizenry of Vancouver" Santa-ji~

My fourth gift was a fun cap of Bhaiyaji from that arguable classic Tashan:My fifth gift was an excellent cap of Dharam-Veer:

"Newly found footage proves Beth right about only the TARDIS could be responsible for the wackiness of Dharam Veer" Lol santa-ji how lovely that screencap is!

And my other gifts I'm having some trouble uploading some of them, hope you all enjoy these wonderful masala gifts! And don't forget to vote on who Satan should be in the Masala Pradesh Production of Paradise Lost, in the poll to the side!

Annual Bakwaas List of 2009: Pie Inducements and Ire-boiling films!

Yes its that time of the year again, the most dreaded list is back with a ire-filled bang! There were a lot of films I didnt like this year, some of them were mostly oldies, some were classics and new films from 2009. I encourage all of you to do a list of your faves of the year and a nice pile of hate in the bakwaas list too, it lets out some pent up energy! If this turns into spewing of hate and swearing then do excuse me if you can, because i've built a masala loving shield anything idiotically masala doesnt go in Masala Pradesh! 1. Dhool Ka Phool - "SEX IS BAD" bakwaas
This maybe some sort of a classic because it introduced Yash Chopra to Bollywood but UGHHH he couldn't have chosen a more message movie than this one! Perhaps his bhai BR Chopra convinced him to do a socially relevant film but it was soo bad! It introduced the whole 60's film about unwed mothers and deadbeat dads and sex that was such a PAAP! NAHIII screeches Mala Sinha when she gets pregnant, well duhhh you silly fool why would you do it when its raining and you so obviously need to go to that secluded greenhouse with your hot yet very pancaked up boyfriend Rajendra Kumar! I just didnt like the two lovers as they kept blaming each other for commiting the bad deed as if it anyone's fault and the terrible act she does later by ditching her son in a windy forrest! I hated this film, it annoyed me so much with its treatment of sex and the poor Sujit Kumar who was the "paap bachha" of this whole film was a mistake at the beginning and then gets his maa back when he was much happier with a cute and wise Manmohan Krishna! I think Sujit is gonna have to join the Masala Youth - Filmi Baccha Orphanage!2. Kambakht Ishq - "Did Akki actually do this?"bakwaas

I'm a bit conflicted about this one as I watched it on the plane and hooted with incredulous laughter as the film went from bad to worse to rubbish, but I remind myself now i was heavily medicated on sweets and chocolate. I watched on the way home in a sober way, and I was so upset that two respectable actors Kareena and my FAVE Akshay would want to star in something sooo bakwaas. I can appreciate lowbrow comedy, hell Paying Guests and Shortkut I enjoyed, but something about this film really irked me. True the film has the Bebo song which I hum along to sometimes and the RDB version of Om Mangalam, but grrrrrr Kareena's character was such a "bitch" as Akki calls her repeatedly, there's no reason to break Akki's heart if you were in bed with him the next day, after putting an injection in him to operate on him, grrrrr what an idiot doctor! Maybe I'm taking it too literally but it just sucked!

3. Ek Phool Do Mali - "Deadbeat Dads" bakwaas

I think it might be a habit I've gotten into to watching frustrating 60's films, with 'sex is bad' messages with deadbeat dads played by the heroes. In this film Sadhana plays a gaon ki chori, who meets the city boy Sanjay Khan, and they have a silly courtship where he stalks her in the field after she takes his cricket ball, its supposed to be "awwww" but its just a bit "urrrm..hi sanjay, hanging outside my house again?" She eventually gives into his stalking love, I think i watched this film as a turning in my film watching where stalking isnt soo cute after all, well its cute if they both reciprocate and its presented cutely but here Sanjay ingratiates himself in her house and with her maa. Naturally there has to be sexy time, this comes after the only fab song where Sadhana dances in her tribal outfit. And as a deadbeat dad, Sanjay buggers off to go to war and leaves Sadhana behind who SHOCK!HORROR is gonna be a maa, her family are sick and tired of waiting and some good news is that Sanjay's dead! Enter second banana role for a poor Balraj Sahni who's a man who's always wanted children and it gets worse when a message-laden song about the joys of being a father, and how kids are soo necessary! I almost remembered the Monty Python song "Every Sperm is Sacred" when that was sung, Balraj is tormented by this and so was I! Dont watch this, because if you don't want kids then you won't appreciate a "Kids are so Necessary" song!

4. Satyam Shivam Sundaram - "See-through Saris" Bakwaas
I recently did a humungo essay on the Raju films of Raj Kapoor, and while reading his biography by daughter Ritu Nanda, I was struck by how heartfelt and earnest his filmmaking thought process. I know RK was a bit of a shit to the women in his life and a gluttonous man, but I love him all the same. He was blobby, womanizing, flawed, human, and a wonderful director, but when I saw SSS at 16 I went, "WOAH you can see her boobs in that sari, Hummma, look she is in a waterfall! Hai Hai, Chi Chi!" and after reading about his complaints about this film of how he wasn't exploiting her Zeenat's gorgeous boobs and figure for his profit, I didn't believe him. There are so many books I've read where he has said "Let them come to see Zeenat's t**s" alas I'm rambling but i HATED this film! It was supposed to be a sort of Shakuntala tale, where the ass like Shashi rejects her baby and etc = gives her hell, but it just felt porno-like to me. And i never thought i could feel like throwing a pie at Shashi but i do, it was just painful to watch and the way he mistreats the poor Zeenat made me so mad! And the above cap made me hoot with laughter sometimes when i look in the mirror I think of Shashi's ovvvverrrr melodramatic Nahiiiiiiiiiii when he sees his ugliness in circus mirror, lol i felt like saying "your not that Ugly, Shashi! But you sure act ugly!" In my closing arguement: Look in the mirror and imagine a NAHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII~

5. Jail - "Cliches in the lockup" bakwaas
I wanted to like this film, especially because I love Madhur Bhandarkar's explosive reveals of different parts of society as I loved Traffic Signal, Page 3, Fashion, and Chandni Bar but this started off well. There was that controversial nude scene that Neil dropped his kit off for, maybe they shouldn't have censored that part because when watching this I laughed out loud as a huge box with mega pixels tried to hide his area! Not very good censoring, or maybe I have a gripe with the censor board! But it started off well, telling how Neil ended up in the jail, and his unease into fitting in, but then it veered into Cliche land, with the gangster-played wonderfully by Arya Babbar, who looks n sounds like Suniel Shetty- the gay guys, the nice guy, the poet, the various prisoners are not characterized well and they have just a quirk like I've named above. And the nice prisoner, played by Manoj Bajpai starts turning into a Shawshank tale as he observes Neil, come on Madhur! There's tons of material he could have used to highlight about Jails in India, but what most annoyed me was there was far toooo much voiceover from Manoj, and too many scenes where we see court-scenes play out but with no talking(lol i sound like a dumbo right here) but if your gonna put Atul Kulkarni as Neil's lawyer I want him to speak dammit! Neil was wonderful in this but in the solitary confinement scene would he really be going crazy on day 2! I dont thinks so!

6. Devdas - "Over opulence" bakwaas

I remember watching this in London, I was in a huff with my mum who wouldnt buy me sweets to eat during the film, so I sat away from her and watched this 3 hour epic, and I really needed sweets for this! A few years, later I had my sweets and sat down to brainwash my friends with the Devdas tragedy, they loved it and were in awe of the songs and beauty of it, but even with sweets this was still a crap film. I watched it again a few days ago, I can see why it appeals to filmi fans as a first time film or as a Bollywood film, it works it has dancing, singing, ennui, and a love story. It just didn't work for me, and this is coming from a crazy filmi gal who did a whole project on Sarat Chandra's novels during my filmi nationalism phase in high school! Lol I remember my project where we had to act as the author and explain their life and books, I was a pagali who dressed in a silly version of a dhoti and acted as a drunk like Saratchandra/Devdas! SORRY i digress as usual, but this film just overdid the opulence and lost the story for me, Paro in this film is shown as slightly more immature with her attachments to Devdas, the sting of rejection for her was not shown properly for her and though SRK performance was good, it made Devdas into a drippy wet hero that I didnt feel sympathy like i did with Abhay or Dilip's portrayal. Madhuri was excellent in a role that was her swansong unless she comes back again with the Indira Gandhi biopic which doesn't look likely. Alas this film was sometimes an assault on the eyes with the sets, houses (how can you tell if Paro is lowlier than Dev if there homes are that jumbo), and costumes. It was bakwaas for me, because it just was too much of one thing that diminished the storyline

7. Aan - "Reiterating the Rubbish" bakwaas

Yes, this a scandalous film to hate, I may be kicked out of film criticism school with this opinion but Aan which is regarded as a fine classic, a merging of the Hollywood swashbuckler with the Indian musical. But like I said in my non-objective masala mini reviews post, it doesn't click with me, I just dont like Nadira or Nimmi in this film. They are both very competent actresses, maybe Nadira less so as she relies on her facial expressions tooooo much! Dilip was okay in this but he seemed out of his depth as I bet he wanted to find some sadness in the swashbuckler he played coz he was just loud and floundering, and Nimmi UGHHH soo annoying with her chattering and acting. LOL atleast there was a scene where her hair was all puffy and she looked like me after i wash my hair! Nadira was just annoying and i reiterate my silent movie expressions that i use in everyday life come from her and Harpo Marx, nothing wrong with bulging your eyes out when Dilip says something impertinent to the princess, but to do that in every scene and scowl its just rubbish. If Nargis hadn't been involved with RK and done this role that Mehboob Khan offered her then it might have made the film easier watching for me! All in all this sucked I wasn't impressed, lovely sets and new introduction to Technicolour didnt make me sway! Sorry Bollywood film history, this is one film i cant watch!

Masala Honourable Mention - A Good film, panned by silly critics!

8. Chandni Chowk 2 China - Happy-Inducement!

There is something wonderful about this movie, many people may say "Rum what the hell you sayin?" Well I dont care what people say, this film is soooo not the Worst Film of the Year, I think that goes to the above and Shortkut, which unfortunately was produced by My ANil! But I think this film goes on my best of the year as its self-referential, cute, innovative and AKKKIII! I think this has been the year of Akki, though this, and Tasveer flopped, I could watch Akki read out of the phonebook and i would still pay my limited budget on that. I watched this a few days ago, it was just a happy-inducing movie, I loved the kung fu and the continuous references to even Lust, Caution and the funny scene where Akki dances to his own song with Ranvir Shorey, or when he dances to Salaam-E-Ishq in a cute Rekha style! It was fun, I didnt expect a Pyaasa from it, it was just a cute film that entertained me, and the critics in the media went overboard in their hate, its not THAAAT bad, I mean Yuvvraaj was THAAAT bad! It was amazing to see the great Gordon Liu showcasing his kung fu as Hojo, its crazy they got him in a Bollywood film, after Bruce Lee, and Sonny Chiba he's up there for great martial-arts guys I mean even Quentin Tarantino put him in the Kill Bill films! This was a great film, not path-breaking and it didn't claim to be, but I was happy and entertained and I got my money's worth for this!

Hoped you liked the list, its a bit small as I didn't watch too many films this year, and the ones I did watch were good! The next post think will be a Masala Pradesh Production of Paradise Lost, a fantastical version written by me! Who could be Satan, Adam, Eve, God??

Masala Pradesh's Best of 2009 or Films I liked this year!

As leader of the Masala Pradesh, I have neglected my duties in masala consumption and awareness as I missed the long lost brothers/sisters/cousins/hamsters, the vengeful Vijay's, the miraculous cures from blindness/ugliness/and otherness. I have been watching the classics this year and the news films that were out, and it was a very good year for Bollywood atleast for me, lots of Akshay, lots of fun broad comedy, some comebacks, and some blehhh.... But here is the some of the best that I've seen this year, and the worst gets its own post next week as the Annual Backwass list is coming up! Get ready for the pie inducements, but here are some happy-inducements!

5. Kaminey - Yup, I loved this film. It was so fresh and different from what Vishal Bhardwaj usually does which is Shakespeare or his music, but this film was not Tarantino as QT(lol like the robot from Love Story 2050!) makes films to impress himself and me with his filmic references and cracking dialogue which is his own style. Whereas Kaminey has a windy plot that relies on dialogue to develop the characters of Guddu and Charlie, and the action is cool and stylish too.

And it has a masala-ish plot that I approve of: 2 estranged bhai's and some bag of money! The chemistry between Priyanka and Shahid is cute and they look good together and they both turned out great performances. Especially Shahid who I did write off for a while as he did impress me in Jab We Met but didnt do much after to make me go WOW, but this movie put him in the big league.
4. Luck By Chance - Loved it, this was the most satisfying films I've seen this year though it paints a harsh portrayal of the film world and its driven hero, its not a scathing Sunset Boulevard, but it comes close to it. It observes, thinks, and lets us pass judgement on the characters who are fuelled by many things to be on top. Farhan Akhtar, what a great actor I was so happy he didnt sing in this, coz didnt like his voice in Rock On, i know that sounds bad as he was the singer in that film! I digress as usual, he was so good and nuanced and Konkona who i think is the new favorite actress of mine, she just killed in the last few scenes. And the supporting ensemble of Hritik, Rishi, Dimple, Sanjay, Isha, Juhi and Aly Khan were just spot on in their roles especially Hritik though a short role he really was so great in that scene in the car, such a cutie!

3. Dil Bole Hadippa - Well i was guranteed to loving this half-hearted film, I know it was a bit average but hell it was the comeback that i waited for from Rani, but alas the box office didnt reveal so. Which is such a shame, because I'm sure she put her all in to this film, she lost her weight(GRRRRR) for the silly item number at the end, she sexed herself up and she was glorious in the film. Its all hers, she owns every scene when she's Veer or when she's a bubbly Veera, and she obviously outdoes the bland Shahid in the film and I guess i might stare as creepily as he does when he sees a Rani like that!

2. Love Aaj Kal - LOVED IT, I rewatched a few times while i was in London and on the plane, and each time it had more nuances to the story than I'd noticed but it was a good film especially the paralell story in the 60's with a turbaned Saif, who looked pretty hot! It was a cute love story and Deepika was pretty good in it for some parts but that voice really grates sometimes especially in the "i'M sorry for being a cow, Rahul Khanna" speech which was super annoying. But i cant pull her down for trying earnestly and she does act very well in the second half and in spurts in the beginning, she will blossom as an actress if she doesn't sound too annoying! What a digressor i am! I loved it for Saif and Rishi who were in top form, but its mostly Saif's show he steals the applauds and indulges himself!

But i must make note of the hilarity of the "Twist" song, Saif you lovely hairy bandana wearing cutie, please dont get botox, i think it may affect your dancing skills as you try to keep up with your younger friends in the dancing but look too concentrated and end up looking like an oldie which you are not!

1. Dev D - Simply wonderful! I completely adored this remake of the Devdas novel, i did a whole project on Saratchandra's novels in high school, coz even as a teen I had to filmi at school as well! And when looking through his novels, his protagonists are very self-destructive, sado-masochistic in their actions, and sexual. Not overtly sexual but the characters seemed melancholy because they couldnt get some or they fantasized. But Dev D brings out the sexual side of Devdas who does thrust himself into a sleazy world of courtesans and drink and I loved how Anurag added that. There are gonna be sticklers for the old versions who dont like this one but its just cool, sexy, edgy, alternative and ABHAY!!! Abhay Deol is the new indie king of my dil, i loved his performance in this, he portrayed Devdas in a modern avatar that seemed real and not phoney, and the gals too were great. Especially Kalki who brought vulnerability to Chanda that wasnt that obvious in the other versions, and Mahi Gill as Paro was lovely too, she captured her haughty and playful personality very well! I loved the colour of the film, it was almost like a Douglas Sirk film on acid!

So these were my fave films a lot them are repeats but i just love them all the same, and watch out for the Annual Backwass list soon!

A Filmic Education in Masala and Filminess of 19 years!

I'm not old enough to start cranking out the stories that begin with "In my time Dilip Kumar was an emo method De Niro" but as I'm 19 tomorrow on the 12th I decided to take a look at some of the films that spiralled my Bollywood odyssey~ It all started when i was 15/16 reading the Philips fil-ums blog and Carla's too, that I realized Bollywood was really wonderful if you looked carefully and overlooked the masalaness that i so love! So here's a reaction from my 16 self on the reaction of these classics and my verdict now! Amar Akbar Anthony
16 year old self: OMG what cool clothes that Shabana is wearing makes her look very mod than she is now, Did Amitabh just put his legs around that dishoomer and kick him into a wall! Maybe my mum is a shrew like Nadira and I can be rescued by a lovely Vinod Khanna, Rishi has never looked so cute and i can foretell he'll look cool in some disco suits too! Jeevan's dialogues are hilarious and playing his twin brother too "GET ME OUT HERE", do i sound that silly with an English accent talking in Hindi like Pran, and I need Pran's hat!

19 year old self : Look at how many masala bits their are! Lost boys, bad hilarious villains, a maa who regains her sight with a hilarious laser beam! The quintessential masala film by the masala master!

Aawara

16 y/o : OMG he's soooo CUTTTEEEEE! I love Nargis' lawyer glasses and her cute acting with the flared nostrils and her quivering smile! Wow Prithviraj looks like Shashi! OMG SHASHI BACHHA! Shashi is the cutest Filmi Bacha so far, and he makes me wanna say "Main judge banoonga maa!" Awww why Shashi have to grow up but alas he turned into his cute brother RAJU!! Singing along to Awara Hoon down the street so Chaplin! Ohh dear he hit Nargis - i dont like this Junglee anymore! The fantastic dream sequence, woah Nargis has got too much glitter on her face, but secretly I want to looks 90's again and put it near my eyes and hairline LOL! Jagga is pretty hot if I may so, KN Singh is my favorite villain right now! AWW I like this progressive ending!

19 Y/O: AWWWWWWW RK is so cutttteeee, wow what an Oedipal film with a strict dad, a blind mother, a boy who loves a strong motherlike figure and to put most of his family in it too! Very expressionist sets especially Prithviraj's Xanadu like house! I guess he hit Nargis to signify his junglee-ness and his unhappiness with their class divide! AWWW SHASHI BACHHHA!Chaudvin Ka Chand (lol i saw this before Pyaasa! How could I?!)

16 Y/O: (These musings are not favourable) What the heck! Rehman likes her, wow she lifted up her veil to show the most gorgeous elegant face ever! AWWW Johnny's here maybe he'll lighten my mood! Yess he did with his shoe throwing jokes, OMG who's that handsome piece of Pie: Guru Dutt! WOW couldn't Rehman have asked his maa to find that girl instead of shrieking at his wedding! AWWW Waheeda and Guru still have nice chemistry despite the breakup! Guru why are so mean to your wife, its not her fault your friend was stupid! OHH no, one of those sacrificial deaths

19 Y/O: Pretty much the same storyline hate as the above, but i really love the Urdu dialogues soo lovely coming out of Guru's mouth and you can soo see his influence in the songs, and the lush lyrical tone! Its a timepass for me though!

Deewaar

16 Y/O: What a bad labour leader Kamal Kapoor is! AWW he got a tatoo without his maa's consent why cant I? What a nice kid Vijay is pays his bro's way through school and loving his maa as well! OMG Vijay grew up this SEXY! Ohh dear he wont go to the temple, I expected the priest and his maa to smack him one! 786 the Yashraj number! AWWW SHashi bachha grew up to be jobless Shashi that has a girlfriend like Neetu who doesnt do much! Nahiii waste of Neetu! Iftikar not a policeman, hai hai he's a suave bad businessman that looks really cool! OMG sex in bed the after shot with cigarrettes what a movie for Indian film! Ohh dear Ravi is a tell-tale that messes up their nice house for his principles, POOR VIJAY! He has bank balance, bangalows and cars what does Ravi the soppy bastard have : MAAA!

19 y/o : What a script! Full of the cliches yet completely reinvented with the opposing bhais like Ganga Jamuna and a very good maa Mother India like! This movie has the best number of faceoffs between the Shashitabh! An absolute classic that established AB as a big pin up for me! And Shashi too

Mother India

16 Y/O: WOAH soo many extras, what a wonderful Filmi Bachha the young Birju is, I wanna scoop him up. Kanhaiyalal is gonna be very typecast as an evil moneylender after this famous role! Nargis and Raaj Kumar make a nice couple and a couple that cuts stalks together stays together! Nope, Raaj and his lovely voice saunter off in the horizon, bechaara with no arms! The sons grew upto be Sunil Dutt and Rajendra Kumar, both very good-looking! Errmmm...I know this is a classic and all but do you expect me to ignore Sunil Dutt's orangeface throughout!

19 Y/O: What a wonderful sweeping epic on the Demille esque scale. Its such a spectacle of beauty and class, and how can it miss by one vote an Oscar to Nights of Cabiria which I hated! UGHHH but Mehboob was Commie and his messages of the land and the people sharing just make me wanna be red too !

Andaz
16 Y/O: Firstly I applaud Mehboob for getting Dilip, Nargis and Raj in a film together and letting each of them have a battle of hysterics and good acting. Nargis listen to your dad when he tells you about modern relationships! Nope she wont and can't she see the love song that Dilip just sang to her means something! Coupla songs later she's still avoiding the issue! STOP stringing him along! NAHII Dilip finds out about Raju! All 3 in an uncomfy friendship! That famous scene when the lights go out at the party:CLASSIC, Ohh Raju dont hit my Dilip with a tennis racket! Ohh dear he's gone pagal! I love Dilip's "Tum meri ho" and then she shoots him! BITCH
19 Y/O: I think i love Naushad! The music is so beautiful and melodius, and I must point out that I loved Cuckoo's dancing and acting skills! Perhaps she influenced my crazy dancing! But its a very thoughful ambiguous film! Bobby
16 y/o: Awwwww isnt Rishi a naughty boy that needs to be sent away well Pran thinks so, he grew up into Rishi! AWWW he's so cute! His maa and paa have a fight and in an RK turn her pallu falls down to show her cleavage! Dimple arrives on the scene, what a natural actress she is
and the swimsuit does look good on her! NOTE: She was lovely in that swimsuit and she showed off her curves with it (another complaint of the skinny society in Bollywood today!) Aww Premnath as the dad is hilarious!
19 Y/O: AWWWWWW RISHI! More importantly the film popularizes the "motorbike of cool" as the lovebirds sing songs on it and hug on it and dressed very funky while on it! I want a motorbike of cool for my birthday Daddy! It is the classic Romeo and Juliet and I did hear that Raj Kapoor was gonna do the tragic ending but pulled out of it! The father's are defined well and their reasoning for the pair has become stereotypical of filmi father opposers!

So these were some of the films I first watched, to have an appreciation for the classics and you can probably see not much has changed as I have a high intake for masala and squeal at the cute boys, but with the help of some Bollybooks and my own developing critical eye, I now watch these films with a bit of my 16 year old squealer and 19 year old Bollywood cinephile!

Feel The Love! Waheeda Rehman

As a young Bollywood connoisseur, I started my serious film watching at 16 because I discovered old movies rocked, I had watched tons of them when I was younger laughing and enjoying and gawking at the masala, and masti. And shamelessly copying the ideo of Memsaab's Asha P post i had to do the same! But the one actress thats my absolute favorite is the gorgeous Waheeda RehmanLooking gorgeous in Chaudvin Ka Chand

There are so many gorgeous and wonderful things about Waheeda that make me such a fan! And here's some films and quirks I just love about her, we go:

• She is a wonderful dancer, especially in my one of my favorites Guide, and the naagin dance that was just so energetic, I felt I had a workout with her too! And the gorgeous picturisations in that movie just enhance her great dancing. What a great showcase-though more in the first half!
Some Fabulous dancing in Guide

• Waheeda was discovered by her love and mentor Guru Dutt, they were my first introduction to the great part of Bollywood in the 50's, when i first watched Pyaasa. That role was so well-done by Waheeda, and the small nuances and cute scornful looks especially in the scene where her street-walker character is thrown from a car, apparently that was the first shot she ever took in the movie. She was so Paro-like in that movie, devoted to her Vijay the poet and being the one person that is uncorrupted by selling his poems.
The enchanting stare!


• But i think my personal favorite would be Waheeda in Kaagaz Ke Phool, though some may see it as her playing herself in Guru Dutt's heavily autobiographical classic, its just an amazing performance, she goes through everything with her man and still doesn't get him in the end, because of his daughter's meddling and his irrational demands. This is the only movie where i shouted "LET THEM BE TOGETHERR!!" this may be the only extra marital affair I condone because the man is estranged from his wife then falls for the simple and natural Waheeda, and they definitely neeeeeed eachother! Dammit Naaz why did you break them up, you brat! But Waheeda was just so good in this performance that as usual i ran to the aunty dvdwallah and got all the Guru-Waheeda films!
The cutest lady behind the purdah!


• And then the glory project that Guru did for Waheeda was Chaudvin Ka Chand, and by God she is the most bewitching and prettiest thing in that movie. Its no surprise Rehman did all that gazing at her and the film suggested voyeurism can be risky but heck if its Waheeda then the camera can bathe in beautiful lighting and lovely clothes and put her in colour for the title song to see those red lips and those tresses! A man's delight! In this movie despite the focus on the lovelorn Rehman and Guru, she was a strong woman who didn't like all this fighting over her and did everything she could to make her husband not feel bad for taking her from his friend.!
The noir Vamp Waheeda in CID

• There are soo many movies I've loved Waheeda in and its all because of her versatility. You can completely see her as the femme fatale vamp in CID and as a village girl in Reshma aur Shera, which I really need to see again because it makes sure that both Sunil Dutt and Waheeda get strong roles as two star crossed lovers, in other movies like this the girls always weep and cry and die first. But Reshma is strong about her love and I totally believed in that love story!
• Another favorite is her role in Kabhi Kabhie, she was unfortunately persecuted by Amitabh for having another daughter but it was that she had a past that she did forget and while he had a past that he kept holding onto. Waheeda did a great job as the conflicted maa and put upon wife!
• Even in later roles like Mashaal as Dilip Kumar's wife, she charms and mothers ANil till he comes around and behaves himself, or as ANil's nanny who teaches him to love India and a certain individual! And she had a small role in Dehli 6, which was a bad movie but she and the cast elevated it yet again

Here's to Waheeda being the most elegant star in my mind, while I must do a post on my style icon Saira Banu!

Masala Pradesh Mini Masala Reviews!

These days since being back at school, I've had less time to see movies, but one day a movie comes along that you just need to see, and DBH is one of them! I've ventured a couple of times to the Indian cinema right on the outskirts of Vancouver. Valiantly I trek to see these movies, and most of the time I am dissapointed with Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, or Welcome or too affected by the really swingy chairs that were newly installed!

But this summer I was very impressed by the movies that came out and the ones I bought from my Auntydvd-wallah whose shop is conveniently is two streets away from my college!

Anyway onto the reviews!

Dil Bole Hadippa - there's something that all these new actresses are missing, which is the general all roundedness in comedy/dance/dressup/drama, all the things that Rani Mukherjee is! And the critics that i usually listen to and scoff at, won't like this film because its full on masala. From the dressup which seems to be very common in the new Yash Raj films, this was not frustrating and pie -inducing like Rab Ne... it was played for comedy and it worked, because of Rani of course! She's back with a bang, she reminds me of a bubbly Neetu Singh, and she makes a quite cute couple with Shahid Kapoor who on the request of Filmi Girl i have ruled that Shahid must always where American Apparel looking V-necks or on my suggestion just wearing a towel around his neck! He looks hot, though the movie is not his and when he gets intense he gets really intense! Even Rakhi Sawant made an impact, she finally landed the YRaj movie, but as a supporting character. Though the work she's had done, makes her look like a tranny sometimes, but enough about that! Sure the movie is cheesy, and colourful and mindless but i let all that go and went for my Rani! DBH is a fun movie worth a watch simply because Rani is BACCCKKK!

Love Aaj Kal - Though I really liked Jab We Met, I didn't go in to the cinema seeking another one in Love Aaj Kal, because they are too different. First things first, Saif the botox did work but your dancing skills in the Twist song were hilariously bad, and you tried WAAAAY too hard to catch up with your younger friends in the video. I liked this movie apart from that it seemed real though a Bollywoodized version of young love these days, though I must say I love the Love Kal part because it was cute, and the poor unbilled Giselle as Harleen was great for a first time role, and Saif in his Punjabi role was good, and his bhangra dancing was like an old uncle but fun! Now onto the Love Aaj, it was okay though I really doubt they would be on such great terms after they break up with each other, like talking on and on! But onto to Deepika, she was pretty stale in the beginning of the movie, but as it progressed there were sparks of good acting by her, though that came right at the end! Love Aaj Kal is a good timepass worth watching for Saif's wrinkle free face and funny dancing!



Chalti Ka Naam Ghadi - I loved this movie, the three Kumar brothers Ashok, Anoop, and Kishore are hilarious as 3 mechanic brothers that are taught to hate women by older bhai Ashok. It reminded me of the Marx brothers movies, and these 3 Indian Marx's also had a great flair for slapstick and witty banter. But you can't talk of this laugh riot without Madhubala, who looks just gorgeous here and her comic timing is right up there with hubby Kishore and quick cute laugh is just infectious. The movie only suffers when KN Singh, as glorious and dapper villain as he is, is forced to wear an awful wig with a 1930's style curl to it!

Do Bigha Zameen - I'm taking a film class at college and one essay topic is to cover the importance of a foreign filmaker on North America, I might do it on Bimal Roy, but this movie impacted the most because of Balraj Sahni's riveting performance as the poor rikshaw man forced to fend himself in the big city of Kolkatta. Apparently Balraj went all method on the role and drove round a rikshaw as preparation for the role, which seems to show because he looks the character and you can totally see him as a broken down. AND Filmi Baccha Rattan Kumar from Boot Polish is his cute little kid that learns boot polish off kid actor Jagdeep(not even restrained as a kid!)

Here you go, a small round up of the movies I saw this summer! Hope you like it!

Heer Ranjha - Don't Let Pran/Jeevan/Ajit Near A Love Story!

Pran, always eager to meddle in some affairs of the heart!

Yes, please chide me for being a terrible lazy blogger, I have been catching up on sooo many Hollywood movies that I almost forgot about the Masala Pradesh. But the seriousness and lack of the Shashitabh in Hollywood made me come running back.

And the genre I love quite a bit is the star crossed lovers that have had countless remakes from the 40's to the 70's, Heer Ranjha/Laila Majnu/Shiri Farhad/Sohni Mahiwal/and of course Rum Anil! I have managed to catch most of the remakes and redoes, all with a lot of masala such as unnecessary sadness that is actually quite necessary and lots of comic relief via Tuntun, and Mukri!

But this Heer Ranjha i think surpasses all the others because of this man:

Ranjha - the eloquent Raaj Kumar
Raaj Kumar just makes this movie with THAT voice, it just so nuanced and enunciated and by god I could listen to his dialogues all day long!

Getting back to the movie, the dialogues are just a beautiful mix of Punjabi and Hindi, and most wonderful about the whole movie is that it's in verse! Soo poetic and great and its written by Shabana's father Kaifi Azmi. So we start off in Punjab where Ranjha is spoilt by his aunts played with masala cuteness by Indrani Mukherjee, Achla Sachdev, Sonia Sahni, Mumtaz Begum who have a huge haveli where aunt Kamini Kaushal gets to run around upstairs and downstairs! It kinda reminded me of the Sanjay Leela Bhansali movies where Aishwariya and his heroines run about like crazy!

Rebellious Ranjha is from Hazara and defies his aunts and goes to a wedding in Jhang where he sees Heer(Priya Rajvansh)A gorgeously shot meeting!
They meet and Ranjha immediately waxes lyrical about Heer to her friend, Ranjha then becomes a "cowboy" according to the hilarious subtitles, he becomes a farm hand at Heer's estate and they stealthily meet in the night and sing the best song of the bunch "Khoya Khoya" the lighting in the movie is lovely, the blue lights sort of make me think of a Douglas Sirk film, with key colours of blue, peach, and pink, and in this movie its yellow!

On one occasion Heer runs to Ranjha's house, but this is no ordinary run it is the "Waddle RUN" its really quite funny the way Priya swishes her arms around while running through the Punjab fields! Her elbows are stuck to her side, while she flails around her arms, and in one shot as the bhangra band are approaching she almost falls because of her silly running!

THe Waddle RUN - tripping over actresses all day long!
On this same the day the village baddie Pran is stirring up trouble in the town, and in a funny scene during a poetry shoutout in the market, the villagers make fun of Pran, and hell hath no fury a Pran scorned. So he wanders the fields in search of something to mess up, but Pran-style!
So when he spots Heer and Ranjha in a horny hug, he's found something to meddle in!
And meddle he does, he tells Heer's nasty mum who then tells her husband the kindly Thakur(Jayant) who is shocked his daughter could partake in a horny hug where Ranjha sniffs Heer's neck and squeezes her waist! But according to Pran, thats horny and gonna give badnaam to the Thakur! Quickly Pran ties Ranjha to a tree, and leaves him to the crows and beasts in a studio made forest! The Thakur sympathizes with his daughter and unties Ranjha so that he can go back to his village and send for her. Pran doesn't like this and meddles some more and then Heer must get married to this bad man! But during this ordeal she has to endure Jeevan as a bad priest that makes her say Qabool to Ajit when SHOCK she doesn't want to! What will Ranjha do? How will Heer live with that dastardly Ajit? You all know the tragic ending but this movie paces the sadness and love well and I even cried at the end!
But this movie has a warning that soo many of the great character actors show up and each of them have enough scope to make an impact, and my favorite overacting Kapoor, Prithviraj shows up as the the king of the land!
Heer Ranjha is a lovely evocative piece of film, definitely watch it for Raaj Kumar!

Muqaddar Ka Sikandar - Unnecessary Sadness, and Bad Handwriting!

If only there was more of this!

I'm back from my wedding in Calgary, and back to the famous blog of mine!! So I decided to write about one of the most frustratingly good/timepass movie that I've watched over and over, but each time I find myself screeching "NOOOO WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!!" and pointing my fists at the tv screeen! Muqaddar Ka Sikandar was made in 1978 during the height of Amitabh's angry young man/lover pinnacle of success and directed by one of my favorite directors Prakash Mehra. So he takes a spin at the Devdas story full of childhood sweethearts and the self-destructive tendencies of its hero Sikandar.

Sikandar sings O Saathi Re to the creepy doll

We meet Sikandar(Master Mayur-in another puddle-inducing role) a poor scruffy urchin that really wants to work for Masterji(Sheeram Lagoo) who hates these scruffy orphan types as one such kid took advantage of his wife's kindness and stabbed her and took off with jewelry. With this kind of backstory I'm surprised that the Masterji didn't have a Zanjeer film to himself! Moving on Sikandar is smitten with the little Memsaab of the house, who so kindly gives him a blanket in the cold and lets him eat with her at the dinner table. Then another hilarious sub-plot involves Sikandar rescuing his new-found Maa's purse, there is a chase scene where Mayur gets to pummel and kick the bad kids. He then gains a new sister and mother, and all is happy in the world till he smashes his memsaab's doll and vows to buy her a new one. Very sweet so far, till the only silly way to reach his Memsaab is to climb the drain up to her room and then ogle at a diamond necklace, this is where my head fell into my hands at the silliness! Naturally a nasty baddie called JD (Ranjeet-in a non-lecherous role!) catches him in the act, and quite naturally his maa works at the same house. And when the masterji launches into a tirade about his hatred for scruffy urchins like Sikandar, his maa comes up with this:Take that all employers of scruffy urchins!

Then the problems all pile on at a rapid speed, the coughing and spluttering that Sikandar didn't notice before about his maa(Nirupa Roy) all attack her after she's finished her speech and even more sad is she dies outside the Memsaab's house! Sikandar has some hardships on the way which includes the local goon Paul (Yusuf Khan) and then in a brilliant introduction Sikandar is all grown up to be the brooding and sharaabi Devdas riding on his motorbike singing the preachy lyrics of "Rote Hue Aate Hai Sab." Sikandar is a pretty weird guy, he keeps his doll that was for his Memsaab and talks to it, though I must say i love the creepy childhood toy parts of the staple masala plot, but he is still hung up on his Memsaab who he coincidentally lives opposite too! But along the way he has to get even with Paul and his hoods, there's so much revenge that Sikandar has festering in him. But as a good yet angry young man Sikandar turns Paul into the police for smuggling goods into his district, what a good example! What a good citizen this well dressed angry young citizen is!

The memsaab has also grown into a spirited young lady in Raakhee, who still holds Sikandar responsible for being a stealing scruffy urchin, this is where Sikandar has sad dreams that he could climb over to her house and that she'd forgive him in an instant, alas that doesn't happen. Because we must introduce the sexy second hero Vishal(Vinod Khanna) a crime fighter by night at a seedy club and a tightly trousered lawyer in the day! I had to say the latter they're very tight and the camera seems to love a butt shot of Vinod! They quickly become friends after all this is a masala Devdas and Sikandar just has to find Vishal's mother who walks around the street with a conveniently placed photo of Vishal!!! But to add to the Devdas element Sikandar and his hilarious friend played by Ram P Sethi go to see the Pepto Bismol dressed courtesan Zohrabai, who instantly falls in love with him after he sings a typically sad refrain of her song Salaam E Ishq!Don't ask them about wearing the same colour outfit!

But as the story goes, Sikandar pines after his memsaab while his best mate is already in the door as he must study with Masterji who is ill and was a lawyer too! But Sikandar tries to woo her in a underhanded way by paying for the guy's medicine, and along the way he still has some grievances for the shopkeeper who denied him meds for his own dying mother, got to get all the revenge along the way! Personally i wouldn't help the silly guy if he insulted my mother and me and launching into a tirade of anger about my urchin-ness!

I don't know, the scripts says i HAVE to!!

On the sadness front, Sikandar has made a new enemy of Dilawar(Amjad Khan) and JD, who have joined forces to destroy the poor sharaabi, and poor Zohrabai gets told off by Vishal who says she brings badnaam to Sikandar's sister's marriage prospects! And even more sadness occurs when the most frustrating part of the movie happens. Sikandar, the stupid duffer tells Vishal to write a letter to the memsaab as Sikandar is illiterate and can't write! This sparks off a chain of convolusions that end badly and also make me cry too despite producing my ire as well! NOOOOOO!!!

This movie twist and turns every second is full of the nourishing masala elements of lost mother, misplaced love letters, scruffy urchins, and more! It is a great yet frustrating especially the second half which could be called as we all put the "curse of the second half"

Filmfare Beckons as well as a Shaadi!

THE SCANSSSS!!!

courtesy of Bollywooddeewana

I dedicate my Filmfare to Rum, the bromance and moustache spotter!

Great news, everyone this homely and crazy and assorted blog is being published in the next edition of Filmfare, with Deepika and Saif-uncle-ji! I am ecstatic and will probably take all the issues from the dvdwallah! I've been very neglectful to the site, but i shall return again. But next week is a wedding in Calgary, and its sure to be a very filmi affair and i thought i might do a quick post on a favorite wedding movie of mine in the week!

But as a keen lover of bromance and moustaches here's a treat!

All together now: AWWWWWWWWW