July 7, 2010

Shameful Classic, Toofan Part 2: When A Filmi Kid made me emo and Goga goes to the extremes of villainy!

This is the power of Jaadugar Shyam, walking on water!

It was a good place to leave off with Part 1, to introduce the mainstay of the movie Toofan, but the filmmakers take a complete detour and take us on a wacky ride with Shyam, Toofan's more enthusiastic and fun bro! This is sometimes okay but even Amitabh Bachchan, actor par excellence, regresses into hamming though he might not admit it, so their are many escapades where he hams royally! But his next hijinck gets him in trouble with his maa, and she ties him up in the bed, so he doesn't do more jaadu! Then a snake comes to him on his bed and we get to a funny but overlong sequence of Amitabh doing cross-eyed and being scared!
Hanging out with the naag
But the main point of this sequence is to introduce the first heroine Radha(Meenakshi Sheshadri) who is a tribal village gal whose naag has gone missing and she summons him away with a fun naagin tune that would make anyone's hands raise up on their head and hips twirl about!
Poor spotty but gorgeous Meenakshi

I just made a potshot of how spotty the poor Meenakshi was, but to be honest it was right there beckoning me to point and I'M EVVVILLL! But thats not nice, Padmini also poor gal had them all over her cheeks. But the camera wasn't very nice to Meenakshi with huge Sergio Leone closeups of her! Bechara! Anyway before my low blow, Shyam and her fall in pyar with some double entendre talk, and soon she invites him to the village to do a song but the best subtitles comes next:
"Come before the fool moon night or we'll be separated!" Nahiee the foolish moon!

Through Shyam's storyline we meet these two: Gopal (Farooq Shaikh) and smouldering girl pickpocket (Amrita Singh)
The two actors who add some sass and class to this product!

Can I just declare how much I loooooove Amrita Singh, she was one of my 80's faves, because she was sooo sassy and had some really sexy chemistry with Amitabh and some more aging heroes. And of course, I hold her highly in my book, because of Aaina, she is a such a bitch but a good bitch! But anyway Pocketmaar Gal(I'll name her as she never had a name) steals Shyam and Gopal's purse to pay for her poor maa's operation!
Well nothing's changed since Aawara eh?

So thankfully in a semi swift Shyam dominated first half, we are introduced to all key characters, but in the biggest plot contrivance that involves Raza Murad as a thief using Shyam jaadu skills to open safes for him and frames him. But another fun subtitle ensues:
This is usually me when I lose Bunty my ipod! WHERE ARE YOU BUNNTY!

In this silly contrivance, Gopal bails him out using his money for selling off his cab, but in another plot device Gopal loses his arms! NAHIEEEE Armless Syndrome affects another Thakur from Sholay, another Raaj Kumar from Mother India, and now Gopal in Toofan. Shyam is rather insensitive and lifts off the cover in the hospital and Farooq is so poignant here just avoiding Amitabh's hammy cryin:
Armless Syndrome afflicts another poor bechara!

Like Raaj Kumar, Gopal is full of shame and goes wandering.

BUT WAIT! SHAITAN SINGH IS BACK! Shaitan is languishing in the jails and behaving like a crazier batshit cousin of mega villain Amrish Puri. One of his harebrained schemes is the most outrageous prison escape I have ever seen, perhaps James Garner, Steve McQueen from "The Great Escape" and other should have taken a leaf out of the "Shaitan Singh Guide to Escaping Prison" which I shall demonstrate:
Step 1: Insert your gleeful smile and set oneself on fire! Protect one's crazy hair!
Step 2: Kill all guards and jump off your Alcatraz-esque prison, avoid the sharks!

Shaitan's escape set in motion, one of the most shameful crying parts of this movie or any movie ever! I feel so besharam for crying! Shaitan comes to the village and decides to have revenge on the man who sold him out, the doctor saab! Doctor saab, has a daughter and son in law Gopal who has come back home from his armless wandering! Shaitan's right-hand man decides to almost rape Gopal's wife, what follows is a shocking Pekinpah-like violent fest, its not too gory but the general hysteria and awful acts committed later are Pekinpah-like in their piling on of all awful and destructive things to happen to Master Javed and Farooq!

Zarina Wahab can't take the Pekinpah violence and jumps in a well!
Master Javed gets headaches from all this dishoom
Armless Syndrome patients can still participate in Pekinpah dishoom!
To be honest, I had a BARSAAT CRY here, I care more for Farooq than Jamie Sanchez being dragged around in "The Wild Bunch"
This is my face after this whole escapade!

YES I CRIED IN TOOFAN! My shame has been aired to the blogging public, it just was soooooo heartbreaking for that poor kid to see his maa die, then his paaw getting dragged about, then he couldn't save his paaw from the well, ohh Master Javed you can come live at the Filmi Bachhe Orphanage like countless other scarred filmi kids!
Another GINORMOUS plot contrivance allows for Toofan and Shyam to switch places, so Shyam as Toofan comes to the village to wreck havoc on the dakus. Shyam is a nice guy enough, to let young Master Javed get some revenge on Zaalim Singh, the right hand man who caused the immense trauma heaped upon the young kid!
You do not wanna get on the bad side of this filmi kid!

I was crying out loud "You go FILMI KID, KICK SOME ASS!" And he really did, he repeated his Nahie lines from the previous harrowing time, but on the kickass side, and growled at Zaalim Singh who he tied up and let the horse drag him away to Shaitan Singh's headquarters!! Gratifying revenge by a kid, check!
Meanwhile, across town there is the actual Toofan as Shyam who is out to get Raza Murad for framing the other guy, and for using Bunty-the-ipod's name to get safes open! Badmaash! But he dresses in this snazzy coin-clad jacket!
Okay new clothing to be searched for, like a vintage Indiana Jones that I am!

The rest of the film gets very mangled, tangled, and convoluted, all in a very shamefully good way that would take ten posts to explain! But suffice to say, the two twins switch apropriate places and Shyam is called upon by his destiny to complete the batshit magic trick that even Houdini and his dad couldn't do! But Toofan fulfills his destiny by killing all the baddies including my much-loved villain Shaitan Singh by doing these stunts:

The mighty jumping skills of long-lost Power Ranger Toofan!
Look at how powerful that Power Ranger weapon is!

Well I hoped you enjoyed the mass trauma of filmi kids, and the shame that was unleashed by me! Toofan is a nice shameful pile of junk that makes me happy on a rainy day because the infinite reasons why I should be ashamed to own this are the ones why I keep returning!


bollywooddeewana said...

You've nailed this film, all in all Toofan should best be described as a guilty pleasure, that kid reminds me of Ranbir Kapoor in a weird kinda way

LOL 'at sergio Leone closeups of her'

Ness said...

HAHAHA this film is CLEARLY a classic. I NEED to see it!

Rum said...

Bollywooddeewana - It is such a guilty pleasure but I kinda feel ashamed of it and estrange myself from Toofan at times because of that power ranger outfit and the fact that i was sad when the filmi kid was put upon!

Ness = get onto the Toofan brigade, or the Amitabh as an aging superhero train! ITS CRACKTASTIC!