July 5, 2010

Shameful Classic No.2 - Toofan: Part 1 - Where Filmi Bacche Grabbed my Heartstrings, and Made Me Emo!

Are You Ready for all this Batshitness and Shame?

I have to thank the aunty dvdwallah for stocking many of the shameful films I own during this week, she sold many Shemaroo 4-in-1 packs to me when I was a bad student who had early classes on Thursdays, by 12.30 I was down the street and in the shop! Very bad, but not really otherwise how could I talk about the glory of this craaaaazy film. As usual in my childhood, I saw this once and was scarred for life when Goga Kapoor perpetrated many gory acts on people in this film. But many years later I had to laugh at the sheer stupidness that I have grown to love in my shameful festering heart full of bad films like these! But onwards we go to Toofan which I've revisited after soo long because of hiding behind all the good classics on my dvd shelf! We start off with a long convoluted prologue of Inspector Hanuman Prasad(Pran) who is a good honest cop trying to stop the most amazing villain ever created Shaitan Singh(Goga Kapoor) Here is the glorious man:
Goga Kapoor looking the like the monster from Jaani Dushman!

We also meet Ramesh Deo playing a magician with a hugely pregnant wife Sushma Seth, who naturally falls down some stairs and loses her kid and another masala device is used, Hanuman's wife had twins so he gives one kid to Ramesh!
This is bad news all around!
Daku Shaitan Singh is a very bad man, stealing gold and working with Hanuman's superior ACP Sharma(Kamal Kapoor) who then stitches Hanuman up for not capturing Shaitan and for being a generally bad officer which he isn't. The right hand man is shot by Shaitan and calls Hanuman before he dies, and nasty father Hanuman leaves his son Toofan with a fever to reclaim his honour not before writing out all the wrongdoing on a piece of slate......which a grown Toofan keeps referring to throughout the film! You can see the shame just oozing out of this and my ashamed but happy face while watching this! Onwards, Hanuman is now stalking Shaitan Singh who is on the train escaping, this proves to be one of the most entertaining parts of the film, the part I was usually scared of before.
And of course Shaitan is willing to be without a hand
Shaitan's old hand just cramped his style!

Of course, Hanuman dies and Toofan the kid vows to take revenge, FIRST I must apologize for going on for soooooooo long because this is the most convoluted film in the Desai canon, but its the prologue that made me all invested in what happened to aging Amitabh later, and its full of all the shame! So little Toofan(Master Makrand - outstanding filmi baccha) goes to avenge his dad at the police station with the handy piece of slate that has Sharma's name but SHOCK! HORROR! DOUBLE NAHIEEE! it hasn't got Shaitan's name!! Sharma chucks Toofan on his ear, to which made me all sad because Master Makrand is the best actor at crying! But he goes to the local mandir, where the divine light shines on him and this cracked out hilarity ensues:
Toofan becomes the chosen one!
The good Lord gives Toofan, the Power Ranger arrows kit!
He's all Vigilante'd up and ready to annihilate all evil men!

I must mention that I love these filmi kids they were the absolute reason why I loved this shameful piece of good nonsense! These kids were just so affecting and sweet which is why these brats rendered me helpless to all their crying and emo pain! Across town, Shyam(Master Amit) is living the good life with his jadugar daddy and maa, but this all until Daddy dearest decides to pull a very silly stunt that probably even Houdini couldn't do. He locks himself in a box all chained up and must make his way out in a minute or so?!
Of course he isn't gonna die if everyone else has!
One son is a Power Ranger man, the other a magician! What a family!

ACTUAL STORYLINE BEGINS NOW: After The longest prologue ever imagined by the Desai crew, the action starts happening! I think obviously Ketan Desai didn't learn from his dad that Manmohan's prologue's were usually short and succinct! Ohh well at least it gave me the weepy kids, anyway the kids are grown up to be egregiously aging Amitabh! But Amitabh as Toofan is a bit better than him mugging about as Shyam, so we meet Toofan. He makes a spectacular entrance stolen from the more gorgeous entry of Omar Sharif in Lawrence of Arabia, Toofan comes riding onto the screen as a very visible man on a horse instead of the splendid speck Omar was. Ohh well, its just one gripe I had, no need to imitate David Lean in a masala film, I just want my masala!
GRRRRRR you ain't no Lean, Ketan Desai!
Amitabh does the most snarling he's ever done, and he isn't even called Vijay Vigilante!

We are treated to a good fight scene with Toofan using his Power Ranger arrow weapon, which makes the most hilarious SHOOOW sound that is straight out of a cartoon! I think I just died at that point because I watched this late at night which is my wrong time to laugh aloud! But I did anyway how could I not with the next sequence. Toofan rescues a wedding party, but when fighting one baddie we get a glimpse of the dolly which is soooooo funny!
These are the wronged eyes of Toofan
Look at that dolly in the frame! Very Besharam already!
And good daku's not beating people up but stealing the silverware!

Alright kids, this is installment 1 of the Toofan brigade, part 2 will follow tomorrow. Full of shameful crying from me at the hands of filmi baccha Master Javed, more body parts cut, and Pekinpah style gore! Hope you like this post, because I feel everyone should own at least one bakwaas but shamefully good AMitabh film like this! I leave you with this:
Crazy Amitabh wants you to come back tomorrow in his lane!

7 comments:

theBollywoodFan said...

ROTFL at 'aunty dvdwallah', and the 'Power Rangers arrow kit' is so spot on, Rum! Saw this as a kid too, and the only thing I remembered until I read your post was the title song. What was it, 'Here comes Toofan, there goes Shaitan,' something like that, LOL. So aptly named too, Storm v Satan.

Back then, I was also into the WWF, and those names would be perfect even today! :D As for Amitabh in those days...I'd much rather Shehanshah. =)

Shweta Mehrotra Gahlawat said...

I love this movie :) Esp the song that TBF mentions above :)And Goga Kapoor's crazy fun :D

Ness said...

I had never even HEARD of Toofan prior to this week. It's the crazy eyes Amitabh pic at the end of the post, and the severed hand that really sells it to me :)

Can't wait for part two!

batulm said...

Rum, have tagged you. Please go look.

bollywooddeewana said...

Lol Rum, how could you not include that epic clip i posted on the intro to trashy classics comment

Rum said...

theBollywoodfan - Seriously Toofan is the long lost orange Indian Power Ranger! But the names are soo apt for a epic movies like this Shaitan, Toofan, Hanuman, Shyam! Shahenshah is coming up soon so watch out for the man who says he's your baaap!~

Shweta - Goga Kapoor takes villainy to an altogether batshit level, he is mental!

Batulm - hiya, where did you tag me?

Bollywooddeewana- My computer is soo slow so it took too long to upload! Maaf karo or I'll send Toofan and his Power Ranger kit on ya!

Rum said...

Ness - those crazy eyes go on for too long! But the many severed hands and limbs is what true villainy by Goga Kapoor is all about!