Making up for the lack of screencaps, I decided to make a list, of the backwass movies that I've seen all year, most of them are old but still some new movies make me angry. I encourage you to do a list of films that let you down, or that were Backwass! Sorry if this sounds like venting and swearing but I don't like silly movies that become overdone with masala elements and convolusions! Its in order of "Worst Waste of Time" to "Why the hell is this happening" on the Backwass scale!
Why did you make Nargis sad, RK?
1. AAH/AAG - "Worst Waste of Time"backwass
Perhaps I say again, I shoulda listened Memsaab, and PPCC and anyone that watched these, I loved Raj Kapoor and as silly as I am, I sat down on his birthday DEC 14 and watched most of his movies, a few of my friends went home early as they couldn't handle such OTTness. But I started off with Aag, what silliness sure they had the cutest Kapoor kid Shashi as a younger Kewal. But RK why such melodramatic drivel to start off with!? Why did you need to find a Nimmi in everyone, couldn't you have run off instead of making an idiotic point by burnin your face! Though I do salute the absolutely sexy and elegant chemisty of RK-Nargis!
On to AAH which like Memsaab should be AAAAHHHH! What romantic backwass this was, why the hell did he need to break Nargis' heart, honestly you OTT silly blobby man RK, the redeeming point of the movie was when Raj begs at Pran's feet, I laughed outloud as Raj kissed the Pran's hand! And i shouted out Dostana, while my friends howled with laughter and one pal said it provided a new spin on the masala element of "falling at someone's feet for forgiveness/begging.
Lol this image is for you Temple!
2. Janbaaz - "How could I buy this" backwass
How I loved this movie as 6-year old, the jokes went over my head and the hay sex scene was forwarded, but slyly watched later with cousins and our mouths hung agape at this monstrous sight! Now as a 18 year journo, I realize that Janbaaz was utter "How could i buy this?" backwass on the backwass scale. My eyes rolled to the back of my head, but the main thing that made me feel sad for my ANIL, was that he was an absolute perv! He uttered awful double entendres and even said "You don't like cocks" when flirting with Dimple, why ANIL? How could you be so silly? Feroz Khan seemed lethargic in direction, but looked sexy and rugged on screen. Though the many versions of "Pyar Do Pyar Lo" were just a dance-move away from being a bondage-sadomasochistic party, the villain lair was awful full of idiotic dancers in fugly tight clothing and in skimpy clothes! I thought while watching if this movie could belong in the "Unintentional Funny" Masala State, it wasn't as funny as I'd hoped!
This actor shouldn't be exploited!
3. Yuvvraaj - "How dare you misuse my ANIL'S talents" backwass
I'll be brief with this as you can read my angry spewing review of it, but this was complete backwass. I wanted to kill Salman/Subhash after watching this piece of crap, how can you say in the interviews that this movie will be great if the best actor only comes in an 1hour later! Why did they use my ANIL as a mere prop for a plot that was stolen from RAINMAN, and then let Anil be at the receiving end of the insincere characters in the movie! I hate Subhash Ghai's post millenium movies, he can't let go of stupid elements like a villain with a funny eye/laugh/etc
All i can say is : Yeh tumne kya banaya?
That's my hat, Kamini!
4. Karzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz - "No singer can replace Rishi" backwass
I wanted to like this movie, but Himesh's hair distracted me from this deed, also his lack of charisma. I definitely like you Himesh, you're a great singer, but Monty was made immortal by Rishi only. Some kudos does go to my fave 90's actress Urmila for being an equally good Kamini, she was gorgeous and looked slightly menacing. But in both Karz's I hated Sir Judah, it was completely unnecessary for a mute villain, and in the new one they had no wicked Macmohan to be the translator! That's plain silly, and Himesh tried his best but it was just rubbish, he was as wooden as a plank, though the music was pretty good, and he did sing 'EK HAseena Thi' without his nasal twang which sounded nice! Naaah
Nice Poster, Pie-inducing movie
5. Aap Ki Kasam - "What the hell is wrong with you" backwass
I'm not the hugest Rajesh Khanna fan, but my mum is and back in the day she waited outside his house for his autograph, LOL my maa has a habit of waiting outside a star's house and getting autographs like Amitabh, Rajesh, and Dharamendra! But back, she somehow really liked this drivel, I hated it and as Memsaab knows I wanted to throw Pie at Rajesh, throughout!
"Pie-inducing" - a new word to use, it means when a hero or heroine's make you want to throw pie at them which would somehow make it all better! Why did you have to suspect Mumtaz of being too close to Sanjeev Kumar, he only butted out a cig one time! Why did he have to agree to divorce and why did she be all Silly Sita and separate?!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh this movie annoyed me and I was happy at the end, and I shouted a big "HAHAHAHA you idiot" while maa wiped her Barsaat Tears away!
You better respect your Rum, Shashi
6. Jab Jab Phool Khile - "A most evil movie" backwass
This movie made me sooooooooo angry!!! I was so conflicted about the two leads who I more than wanted to throw pie at, I wanted to strangle them! WHHHHYYYYY, first for Nanda, she was an absolute brat that would waste a dress after poor Shammi(actress) tried it on, and why did you not love Shashi properly? Where was the need to change him, he was a bumpkin from the beginning and that supposedly made her "fall in love" And that god awful speech, you all know it! On to Shashi, why did you say all that nasty stuff in the infamous speech, sorry bumpkin, I wanted say, girls are modernizing dammit, you wanna cage your wife and make her be a good ol housewife! After that movie, I needed to calm down and watch Love In Tokyo to get over my anger, and that was waaaaaaaaay better
7. LOVE LOVE LOVE - "Aamir's bad disco dandia days' backwass
Ohhh Aamir, thank god you're choosy now because this was disco dancing shit! I wanted to like this so much that I even tortured my sister into it, she left after the first song after seeing Juhi dressed in a pink bodysuit that was worse than Aruna Irani's in Qurbani! This was also the sad moment when I discovered my second adopted filmi bachha Master Tito, he played Aamir best mate that warns him about Juhi and the great Tito dances with Aamir in the 'massacare to the ears' song "Disco Dandia" I wish my computer hadn't broke because it was horrid!
8. Shor - "How did this happen?" backwass
Shor is by Manoj Kumar, who I usually love for anything he does, especially since he was in my fave Gumnaam and Purab Aur Pachim. But this was true nonsensical backwass as Manoj's kid can't talk, and Manoj keeps pressurizing him to talk, by shaking him about and due to pure idiocy Manoj loses his hearing while giving his blood to his son. This was complete dumbo-film making by my fave guy! How does the ear connect with you arm where the bloods coming out? Manoj as much as I love your nationalism, I am no idiot, and neither is the audience! Plus he ripped a whole scene-for-scene from the Italian brilliance of "Bicycle Thieves" and the famous scene where the father enters a cycling contest to help his kid, Manoj looked pretty fat and yucky with the sweat on his face and drool coming out of his mouth EWWWWWW!
There you go, hopefully some verbal dishoom dishoom can go on if you disagree with my choice, or we can share the plate of hate for these movies! LOL I'm a poet now!