Kapoor Khazana! Raj Kapoor Thank You!

UHFFFF! This gaze is too smoldering!

Yes I've been away for sooo long, but I'm back with a bang and how! I utterly adore this new star month for any Kapoor or the Kapoor Khandaan this month. I have already written a few pieces on the film family that fascinates me the most, first outlining the men with moustaches

and championing Randhir. But my heart completely belongs to the original RK - Raj. I discovered Raj again in my teens, but I'd seen the key films whenever i visited my Communist grandfather who loved Raj Kapoor's early movies because of their good clean Socialist messages. But this month is gonna be a proper appreciation of all the RK's and other Kapoor's at an age where I'm only a tad bit less pretentious about my praise! But as usual in the 'Star and Rum' series that I've done for Sridevipalooza, Manoj Kumar, and others I have to outline why Raj is the only Kapoor for me! Raj was the catalyst to my career path and I have to explain my utter gratitude

• Simply put: I worship Raj Kapoor as a director. When I finally found my direction with film studies, I knew my angle was Indian cinema and making people love the greats Guru Dutt, Bimal Roy and RK just as much as I did. The teacher in my film class assigned essay topics, naturally i chose the one devoted to a director who had made an impact on world cinema, and I chose RK. I was all prepared to write my master thesis 10,000 years to early when i initially attempted to cover Guru, Mehboob, and Raj in one essay. But I had narrow it down, and Guru was a very maverick and experimental as well as melancholic director, Mehboob was brilliant, economical, and grand, but Raj made me smile and really enjoy every single film as simply a movie, whereas the others I was bombarded by gorgeous images and socialistic leanings respectively. But these days I know that a movie is the complete package a good and powerful leaning/message, gorgeous cinematography, capable actors, and lots more and RK movies just ensnared me!

• This essay was the biggest essay of my life, because it was a true test of whether I wanted to follow in film studies, could I really muse about RK and Chaplin for almost 3000 words without becoming a fangirl and overdoing my love? Well partly yes, I got a B+ on it and a special comment from the teacher who had founded the course in Vancouver, that he had not read a paper so this side of passionate before. He even watched a few of RK's films after my essay. My A in that class and passion for continuing in film studies and journalism is totally due to RK.

• I bought all of the 10 films he directed and the key films he produced during his peak between the 40's till Mera Naam Joker. There is a definite pattern that is apparent in his work, during the Nargis years he was truly at his creative height. Aawara, Shree 420, Boot Polish, Jagte Raho all of these splendid films are some of my favourites. But every director has some turning point, RK's has to be when Nargis left him and his films suddenly switched from art to all-out entertainment in every spectrum. Lots of critics disparage the period of Sangam, Jis Desh Mein Ganga Behti Hai, Mera Naam Joker, Satyam Shivam Sundaram as his lowest point. Their auteur had gone puerile and crass in his need to fund his studio and his bad habits.

• To this I say KHAMOSHHHH! Yes I really cannot sit through Satyam Shivam Sundaram and Ram Teri Ganga Maili without cringing and getting angry, but their are moments in these disappointing films that are lovely. RK's 'Woman in White' may have her bazookas hanging out but in a day and age where we are so used to everything, RK's idealization of his heroines is a refreshing retread. For every Bobby there is a Mera Naam Joker, which I need to review again because it is such a revealing haunted piece of work that didn't get the credit or it's proper place in the film canon

• I don't usually get so worked up about many directors but if like RK they have earned my ire and love then I can debate for days what Aawara's true outcome was? Every film RK directed and produced bears his stamp of art and entertainment and that is such a beautiful thing. Yes he may have abandoned some of his arty side for thrills and sex but we wouldn't haven't broken down the censor board if RK hadn't put Zeenat in that see through saree or hinted at such eroticism with Nargis responding to his slaps in Aawara.

So here's to the moustached blobby but gorgeous man who captured my heart at 9 and never gave it back! I would have never discovered properly and beyond this blog that I could write eloquent film essays and follow a film nerd path! Thank you Mr Kapoor!

Masala Moods by Dr Rum - Part 1

Anil is seething with my long absence as Empress of the Masala Pradesh!

I really sincerely apologize for leaving this great nation for such a long time. But with 3000 word film essays, my postcolonial art book, and just generally life I had to leave for a while. That's not to say I didn't read last month's 'Deol Dhamaka' like a proper blogger would, but I would have loved to have reviewed a few. Lekin fikr not as my grandma says, I AM BACK! Finished up school but now onto exams, but I thankfully have time to devote to myself.

If you've been following me on Twitter, then you'd recognize all these upcoming snazzy Masala symptoms or mood encapsulators! There is an actor and actress that can embody any symptom or mood you might be feeling when say your dog shits on a new rug, I'd classify that as a FURIOUS FEROZ! Or when you are very happy and feel like singing then you'd be a Lilting LATA! Onwards we go with Part 1 of probably many!

RRAAWRRR

1. Moody Vijaya - My personal favourite that I coined. You know when you're a MV when you are prone to having slanging matches with the gods at a temple, when life treats you unfairly. This was the first symptom of a full-blown Masala Maniac that I had experienced, especially during the essay crunch time, I would become Moody when reading all these identity probing articles for my postcolonial class. I would adopt a snarl, and have a bombastic dialogue likely written by Salim and Javed if someone annoyed me. This phase can last for a while, but every Moody Vijay(a) has a counterpoint of being a Vivacious Vijay, but sometimes this defeats the purpose when adopting an 'Angry Young Man/Woman' stance in life.

2. Sunny Shashi - Now this may be a conflicting one because we have a Sunny Deol who is quite Sunny in some films. This works far better with Shashi, because this mood works just dandy when you are friends with a Moody Vijay above. A happy and cheery demeanor is what we all strive for as Masala patients. Sunny Shashi symptoms includes smiling at everyone in a crooked and cute way, having an abundance of manic energy without drinking gallons of coffee or sweets, and generally being endearing and lightening up any folk you meet. A Sunny Shashi may not always be extremely sunny but this happy and cheerful edge to such a mood works to your advantage if you manage balance this overabundance out.

3. Gutted Guru - the predecessor to a Moody Vijay mood. A Gutted Guru mood is when you have become a hardened and bitter soul where nothing can brighten your ennui. Symptoms include seeing life is a series of sad and ironic events, no woman or man can break through your wall till you turn into a Less than Gutted Guru. Poetry and drinks are usually a must for this mood, as some of the best musings about the world come in a drunken stupor. A breakup or upset with the current state of your nation may be the cause for such depression but a likely respite from these troubles may come from a kindly woman or man who love you despite your selfishness.
4. Weepy Asha - A mood that afflicts us all. A Weepy Asha is a self-sacrificing type of trait where you cannot help but burst into tears at the slightest upset. Moving house? Tears. See a cute picture of bunnies snuggling upto baby puppies? Supreme tears. This mood usually starts after a seemingly balanced All-Rounded Asha, but due to machinations created by this mood or by parents you devolve into this mood. This mood is easily resolved when the love of your life leaves everything for you, but the inescapable tears always flow!

You are frequently found in this thoughtful stance

5. Meaningful Manoj - or in other words a Hipster Manoj. Always eager to voice concerns over the nation, diaspora, and every single issue that interests you, I would classify you as a Meaningful Manoj. Symptoms of this mood include passionate speeches, visualizing your life in crazy but social critique looking camera angles, and of course covering one's face every time you feel a bother of ennui or exasperation at another person's ignorance. On this list, I would say that a Meaningful Manoj is the best to have a gang of a Sunny Shashi, a Moody Vijaya, and an upcoming Swaggering Shotgun to voice your concerns and win election votes in the Masala Pradesh.

Thanks for tuning in for an upcoming series on the Dr.Rum Oz show of Masala Moods, and I will definitely be back with some more fabulous and encompassing moods such as the Scandalous Saira, the Stylish Sadhana, the KRAZZY Kishore, and more S's and R's to be thought of. Which of the above suits you?

Deol Dhamaka: Sunny aur Rum - An Ambivalent Affair

That is one pissed off Mofo, just look at the flames!

I'm really excited for this fabulous month of Deol Dhamaka, because it'll allow all of us fangirls and fanboys to appreciate the original Punjaban family: THE DEOLS! And being a Punjabi myself I couldn't pass this opportunity over at all, because I have a filmi connection to these Deol men.

My late grandfather came from the same pindh as Dharamendra, my babaji also wanted to become an actor and defied his folks and ran off to Bombay. He managed to stay with Dharam in his struggler days, but when my babaji couldn't wait it out he went back to the pindh! And I've got several uncles that can vouch for that crazy story! Me and Shashi and Dharam, so many filmi encounters!

But getting back to this fabulous month, I thought I'd start off Deol Dhamaka with a Deol puttar that I vehemently hated for a while but had a sudden change of heart with: Sunny Deol. My family is a strange one, my grandad loved the nonsense but Awesometastic Dara Singh films and I remember being scarred for life seeing his many headlocks and crotch locks. Naturally when Sunny decided to make an entrance, my family thought he was the new heir to the wrestling and wooden hero, which didn't help me at all. I had sit through all of his screeching, and closeups of those bloodshot and weird eyes of his and pummeling baddies till blood gushed everywhere. Needless to say, I hated Sunny with a passion during my 8-17 phase of life, there was just nothing to him as he wasn't cute like Bobby, he didn't possess the all roundedness of his papa, and he just stunk.

Sunny is intrigued, all he needs is a contemplative hand gesture and white beard

But as I continued to write him off and adore his brother and father. I had a reevaluation moment during Apne while he swore to 'ohh yeah i fooock youuuu' to the other boxer, he kinda won me over with his ridiculously passionate use of the f-word, and that my friends is a winner to this ribald dirty sailor mouth of mine. And the fact that he has such a seductive voice when he's not screeching and raving at baddies. So let's look at some of the pluses in his career that I've only recently discovered.

1. His Brilliant spark: Ghayal, Arjun, Betaab, Damini - these were the movies I hadn't seen for a while and they are actually gems of movies. I had seem them as a young 'un and never revisited them because of the vicious pummeling his 80's Angry Young Man did. It made me a bit squeamish, to watch him kick the shit out of Amrish Puri, who I had a new appreiciation for coz Indiana Jones! But in these movies he demonstrated that he could handle a bit of romance and action at the same time. I love in Betaab when he sings a song to Amrita Singh then the next minute he's doing a tractor stunt! Seriously looking back on these films, I will begrudgingly admit the guy CAN ACT! There I said it, he really can summon all the fury in him and that strong throat of his screeches out the best dialogues that Salim and Javed put in there! Sunny's very much an actor who has concocted a persona, aided by Salim and Javed with their brilliant dialogues and current(back then) handling of prevalent issues. The 80's were full of unemployment and I liked how Sunny's persona was voicing these concerns with corruption and job inequality albeit with a whole of dishoom dishoom and screaming. And he won all my respect for his tour-de-force performance as the drunk lawyer in Damini, a well deserved National Award win for that one, he demonstrated a hero with flaws and humility, and I loved how it was Meenakshi who made him aware of his talent and gives him his ambition back.

Every time he puts the pagh on, Punjabis rejoice!

2. The Dreaded Age: Gadar, Farz, Indian - Now this was age where I had to watch tons of his films as a kid in the cinema or on ZeeTv. And I'm afraid I was so right in hating these films and Sunny's OTT schtick he did in nearly all of these films. These films were right in their intention of capitalizing on Sunny's mass appeal and his forte in action films, but the story and Sunny constantly repeating the stock screaming, dishoom, speech, stomp with gal, etc.. it just fell flat on its face. The jingoistic messages and rabble rousing fear of Muslims in these films are just downright awful and Sunny just got stuck in a rut. I have to single out Gadar, because my mum was in the Punjab when this came out and Oh my gosh did they love this film and cheered on in the awful climax bit where he screeches that India is his home, when Amrish Puri(again!) tells him renounce India and embrace Pakistan. UGHHH I know I may be pummeled by Sunny lovers, but the film the biggest hit of his career was just a shrewd manipulation of a real and saddening event to capitalize on his broad appeal. That's not to say that there weren't any quiet moments where he was brilliant, he was so lovely when he tries to locate his wife and takes his son along. But this period of Sunny's career is why I never liked him in the beginning.

Alright dammit, he semi-cute in a way!

The Bright Spots: Border, Apne, Yamla Pagla Deewana, Heroes - Now I may be guilty of overpraising him but in Border he was a much better reuniting and glorious leader than say Tom Hanks in Saving Private Ryan. All those maudlin speeches in the Hollywood film didn't work in his favour, as Matt Damon can languish if he wants but a film like Border and Sunny's heartfelt and honest performance with it's maudlin and rousing speeches did work. I know these were 2 totally different wars, but Tom Hanks was too nice to be a forceful leader and Sunny's speech to his wife and to his men drive the point home. Initially I was put off with him screeching, and letting my poor gorgeousface Akashaye Khanna and Sir Handsome-at-the-Time Jackie Shroff languish at the end. Now that was an effortless performance where he used his trademark gestures to a beautiful degree. His later films with his family Apne, which is the lone movie that made my stone-hearted sister weep in its moments of father-son verbal offs. I really did like Sunny in this film, he seemed more relaxed after a break which did him much good as he was a lovely actor in this film and outshone a Hand-trauma Boooobbby Deol and a curmudgeonly Dharam. And did I mention how much I adored his swearing? Now one of his most underrated roles is in Heroes where he plays a wheelchair bound Major mourning his brother Boobby(I am gonna call him this all day thanks to Amaluu!). It was such a wonderful, understated and affecting performance which really made me want to watch more of his story than Salman's. His redonkulous scene where he's gotta have one fight scene even if he is a paraplegic is just awkward to watch! And onto the biggest hit of the year so far, Yamla Pagla Deewana where he was so funny and again stole the show from his bro and papa, I loved the scene where he was talking in English to the crowd. 'Don't give him yaauur wwwoootes" is the new catchphrase around my household, that hilarious way he enunciated wwwwotes is killer, intentional or not!

Sorry for the rambling but looking at some of his movies again has put into perspective, I do LIKE Sunny Deol, he is a very good actor when he's in the right project with a script that does him justice and allows him not to raise his voice for no reason(that voice just killed me in my childhood). Come back later this week for even more Booobby Deol pyar because Lawdy I adore that kid!

Masala Pradesh's Pretentious Post or My Faves of 2010!

'Moody Vijay' - my state of mind for 2010, add it to your filmi lexicon

Sorry for such a long break, but being back in Vancouver for the holidays I just couldn't manage another post other than my celebrated(!) ire filled Bakwaas List. But I thought I'd finally air my views on some of the good parts of 2010, because always going against the crowd I thought it was not such a damn awful year for Bollywood in 2010. I'm gonna approach this from a cinephile/pretentious filmi nerd stance, because being in a small town with nothing much to do, I've been reading half the books in our library by the early French and New Wave critics, and they have a point!

The Critics: Francois Truffaut, who I'll appoint a Masala Pradesh Saint Truffaut Bhagwan, talks about straddling the two categories of films, the Masala and the Arty Farty in our case, and what I've definitely noticed in 2010 that critics do not know how to balance the two. For instance, he goes on about loving a film like 'A Face in the Crowd' by Elia Kazan with it's subversive messages about the media, but also heaps praise onto something Hollywood spectacle like 'Samson and Delilah.' Now maybe it's because I'm a journo type that loves my Masala and my Arty films, and because I approach a film liking the director or star, but I don't treat a Tees Maar Khan like an Udaan, because they are miles apart. Critics in India, have this awful problem and their outrageous reactions to films like Tees Maar Khan by expecting it to be another Main Hoon Na or the height of Masala brilliance. It's their close-minded and editorializing to a sniping degree, where they insult the filmmaker or actor, it's just not objective. All reviews should air what was good about a film like highlighting a good performance or script, and if they hate it, they really have to sell it to the viewer why and not cop out by unfairly and unnecessarily bringing personal gripes and grudges into it. That's why in 2010, the gaping disparity between what the masses flocked to and what the critics favoured, was so gaping wide. If critics want to repair their relations with the audience that is rapidly dwindling and turning to word-of-mouth and the internet, then they really have to consider what the masala and arty intake the average filmgoer can handle, they really should STOP sounding so smug and think about who they're writing for.

END OF RANT! I'm sorry, I've read many reviews from the vintage Stardusts, FilmIndia's, and other film mags over this summer and the journalists and critics back then, who were also very catty, but the reviews took into account that people would immediately be in seats for something with Amitabh being a Moody Vijay but they also recommended films like Bhumika.

I know I can't blame the critics the whole time, it's also the filmmakers who throw out bakwaas like Break Ke Baad, Hollywood style romcoms that just don't connect with the audience and vanity projects like Khelein Hum Jee Jhan Se, which just exhausts and bores. Earnest intentions by all these big directors would normally win my own heart, HELL I loved Veer, which was another earnest piece of shamefulness, but they also need to find interesting stories and not go overboard with their delusions of grandeur, looking at you Mr SLB! The audience in India is a fickle bunch, one thing like an No Problem, the usual Aneez Bazmee fare which they lapped up before was a super flop, but something like a Peepli Live did well. I think the films of 2011 need to be toned down in their OTT publicity monsters because a Tees Maar Khan, which did the rounds was so hyped that although it did somewhat alright, people were disappointed as a result of that as well.

ANYWAYS! I'd like to share my eclectic mix bag of faves this year, irrespective of box office, there were many movies which were brilliant, good, and alright! But enough rambling and ranting here it is, in no particular order because that's far too hard and I would ponder like a philosophy student!

1. Ishqiya - Truly one of the best films, which finally gave a career Renaissance of sorts to Arshad Warsi and Vidya Balan both brilliant actors who were stuck in a comedy and romance/fashion rut. Vishal Bharadwaj's stories always feature such expressive and profane language that was perfect in this film, he has such an ear for the rustic dialect that is so acute and in this film he excelled as a screenwriter, which we all know from his adaptations of Shakespeare to rural Bihar in Omkara and Mumbai for Maqbool. But I think this film won all it's praise for it's performances by Arshad Warsi, who dropped all the second banana roles to play the lusty Babban. He is such an untapped actor that directors need to use far more, and he creates a full blooded man full of passion, and humour. And it's such a good neo-noir as well, of course adapting it to a Bihar setting makes perfect sense, because I'd rather have the femme fatale in a sari like Vidya. Sensuous and dangerous, Vidya makes Krishna a dame worth stealing for. And that kiss! As much as it's great that Bollywood is doing snogs and all, but this one was less of the tender and quick pecks we see, but pure animalistic hunger and it was HOT! I haven't mentioned much of the director Abhishek Chaubey, who aided in the screenplay and is definitely a director I want to see more of, but this is one of those films that is dominated by the presence of it's auteur producer/music director, and that's one of it's best points. Bhardwaj's flair for the ribald dialogues of Bihar and setting it in small town India makes this a neo-noir that is just as stylish and beautiful as his city-set films like Kaminey.

2. Tees Maar Khan - I'm with Kara/Filmigirl on this one, this was a good film in all the ways I wanted it to be, paisa vasool entertainment full of masala madness and meta-snarkiness that wins a reference spotter like me over! Now I know people saw this and were supremely disappointed with it, but there's an indicative moment where Farah's hubby Shirish Kunder sweeps up all the Oscars at the end credits. Shirish, has an irreverant humour that we witnessed in Jaan-e-Maan, with it's plot elements all thrown in and framing the songs like Broadway songs, and it worked for me at least. This was a Farah film framed through Shirish techniques, and I loved it. I just saw the Peter Sellers original 'After the Fox' and while the two are extremely similar, both were hot messes affected by every actor doing their own thing and just generally HAVING FUN, and that joyful abadonement of details and contrivances makes them so enjoyable. Tees Maar Khan has all the great packaging, great songs and fluid and music video style cinematography, but it won me over for the two A's: Akshay Kumar, who probably put his everything into this movie, and it's fun to watch him cut loose in a film that caters to his strengths of being a very physical actor and trying anything, in a way that none of his Priyadarshan films do. And Akshaye Khanna, what a gleeful role as the Oscar hungry Atish Kapoor, he really went to town with that role and was a complete scene-stealer. And lastly Katrina Kaif, who I kinda like and she was hilarious being a vain wannabe and she looked like she was enjoying herself and stole the show in her small role.

3. Raavan/Raavanan - Two movies, same story, both different experiences that were both interesting experiments. Critics again jumped on the 'Let's shoot this down' bandwagon for Raavan, to be honest Raavan was an experiment in mood, and story that only partially worked. But I had to add this to the list alongside it's better counterpart, because I have a feeling both will be appreciated much later down the road, and lol I might have to turn producer and give these two their own Criterion Filmi Collection, because they are both great pieces of cinema as Mani Ratnam took a chance on two wildly different actors to interpret B/Veera, the supposed villain of the piece and turned the Ramayana tale on its head, by blurring the lines of good and evil between B/Veera and Dev, two men jostling for power, and I'm gonna admit I really liked Abhishek's interpretation. It's the damn earnestness of it all, they tried so hard to make something weird and wonderful and I think it will be one of the hotly debated classics of Indian cinema. But what is consistent in both, the acting by Aishwariya Rai is absolutely phenomenal and she shares great chemistry with both Abhishek and Vikram, but I appreciated Abhishek's performance because it is OTT, manic, and definitely something I'm sure he's secretly proud of. But Vikram does the more subtle, manic, super-cali-fragi-fuckinamazin-docious portrayal because he made Beera, more sensuous and sexual being than Abhi which is why pitting the two portrayals next to each other is such an interesting comparison, because it just adds to the many layers Raavan had. Sorry I just need this to be on a Criterion Collection dvd right this minute for me to geek out over!

4. Rakt Charitra 1+2 - Everyone loves a good comeback, and I'm one of those suckers and seeing as it was my underrated fave Viveik Oberoi then I shall be heralding his comeback as the best for an actor who made a resounding Dishoom entrance with Company and to return with a forceful performance with his mentor RGV. And I'd say both director and star benefitted from the hype, even if the Hindi version didn't do so great, but the other ones did. Viveik is a strong actor that was blacklisted unfairly for his press conference debacle about Salman, and I kinda admire him for that, but this was the best way for him to reclaim his territory as the new Angry Vigilante on the block. Viveik imbues pathos into Pratap so we feel his pain and understand as he sloly turns into a monster and are shocked by his sudden urge to lop off heads, and knife people! And I think Ram Gopal Varma is back in form again, he has a contentious visual language of the loud chanting, odd camera angles (i always love his trademark from above a glass table shot, which is soo Masala because Feroz Khan did so many of those shots in Dharmatma!) and he's uncomprimising on the way he shoots his films and his subject matter which makes him stand alone from the rest of the directors out there today. Part 2 was obviously dominated by Suriya making a bombastic debut in Hindi films, but Viveik still managed to create a sort of Michael Corleone gone far worse. The assasination scene was just amazing. Both were full of non-stop even bloodier Pekinpah carnage, which was necessary for the murky politics of revenge and power.

5. Udaan - I really don't know why people bash this movie so much, but I do realize that movies like these are catering to a niche urban audience and not everyone's gonna jump on this Indie-Amazingness film! I just like movies about 'rites of passages' and 'coming of age' ones like these, but this one had a universal story of family pressure. It becomes so much more than that, with the lived in and stunning performances by Rajat Barmecha, Ronit Roy, and Ram Kapoor. We see Rohan wanting to be free from his stifling and abusive home life of routine and boredom, he wants to be a writer and poet. While critics and others found that it emphasized a more literal freedom from his harrowing home life, I thought that that was only way he could flourish as a writer and as a person was to finally take his brother and run. The row scenes are so raw and hard to watch at times, yet another one of those typical 'root for him to escape' moments that would be cliche, but I honestly cared for the two boys and it enahnced the emotional experience. It reminded me of Truffaut's 'The 400 Blows' which was repetitive in that showed the young Antoine Doinel navigate through his school and bad home life, going to school coming home, running away and all over again, and this film in its symbolic shots of the factory instruments pounding and crushing his dreams, writing in the fields, and contemplating. And it's these moments we don't see much in films where we can see a character really soul searching and contemplating his freedom and life, usually if a hero is trapped then by the end he'll have a job and a happy life and all that. I know I'm rambling but I like thoughtful characterization of heroes that are aimless and trapped, although it is suffers from problematic characterization of Rohan's dad, who is just awful and abusive, and drinks all day long, he isn't offered any other side which is off-putting at first but Ronit Roy does such a wonderful job of the character that we just feel he's been trapped in his own set ways and can't bend at all.

6. Band Baaja Baaraat - I will herald my love for this film all day long, although I saw it after all those shitty romcoms that came before it, this movie again has a love story that's simply revolutionary for not piling on the montages of singing in on a beach style love, and creating fully rounded reality steeped characters that we can root for! Is it really hard to tell that romances set in India like this and Ishqiya, are consistently trumping the NRI montage-quick lets fall in love in style romances like Anjaana Anjaani? But what I have to rave about is Ranveer Singh! What an absolutely wonderful debut for him, it definitely shows how a godfather/mother/Masala Filmi animal connection (Moti the dog can only help so much, kids!) doesn't bring you success and give you that magic spark that the audience immediately connects with. Ranveer has screen presence that most first time newcomers don't have, he's an instinctive actor as his intro scenes are so charming and I know I have a new crush of the month. But I think what's most appealing about him in this film, is ability to project a very Everyman quality to him, he's not exceptionally beautiful like a Hrithik (I certainly think he is) but he makes Bittoo his own, an aimless college boy that loves his food and loafing around. We don't have enough of the Everyman-type heroes that an Amol Palekar or a Jack Lemmon specialized in, and I think if he continues to be so spontaneous and fresh in his next few films then he's here to stay. And of course Anushka Sharma is fabulous too, her reaction to the morning after rejection is just heart-breaking. Of course the audience connected with this movie because it was well-written by Habib Faisal and Maneesh Sharma, they manage to steep a Yashraj production which has a penchant for the 'let's strut' montages, 'let's fall in love in our beachwear' songs, into a filmi reality that just works!

7. Dabangg - Let's all bow to the revisionist Masala Pradesh approved Saint Salman! We are not worthy! If 2010 publicity was good in one area, it was the hype for this deserving movie. Masala has been coming back to the fore for a while now, especially with 2009's Wanted and even before that the homage hot mess masala Tashan. But Salman and Abhinav Kashyap capitalized on this hunger for a film where the sheer angriness of the hero can make his shirt automatically tear off, where the villain can snarl/have an super OILY well sculpted body/and act goofy, where Arbaaz has a meta-dishoom fight with his actual reel/real bhai, and just the absolute faithfulness to a masala concept. This wasn't a perfect film, it had loopholes, but we overlooked all of that because Salman dominated the show and meshed all of his cool guy schtick, lack of pretentious acting and his stoic personality into one character that hypnotized us. Let's not forget the Great Female Hope in Sonakshi Sinha, an actress that made a great impact in her few small scenes and of course her thankless task of bringing a healthy sized heroine back to the screen that was sexy and alluring! The film is a testament to the director and star, who captured the masala zeitgeist and instead of turning it into a vanity project, they made a paisa vasool film which even some of the critics begrudgingly admitted entertained, which is what it all comes down to. A masala movie is meant for gratifying the audience's need for a good time and being a clever smart at that too!
Plus it had the debut of our Masala Pradesh Filmi Animals Sheroo-the Wonder Bird and Allah Rakha's younger and more agile cousin, Sheroo Part Do!

Honourable mentions

Raajneeti - Loved it in the cinema for all those speeches, and gargantuan Mahabharata backstabbing, but criminally underused Ajay Devgn in the key role as Karna, lovely Katrina show glimpses of a really earnest and untapped potential.

Peepli Live - I honestly was turned off by Aamir's hype of this being a satire, it really wasn't, it was far too garbled a message for that. More of a black comedy which veered into farce. But definitely the right choice for the Oscar entry.

Once Upon A Time in Mumbaaaaiiii - Numerology works in some cases! Spot on homage to the crime films of the 70's, fabulous dialogues and a psychotic Emraan Hashmi stealing the show, although again criminally underusing the gals only as the Apprehensive girlfriend or the Love of a gangster's life and only that.

Do Dooni Chaar - A lovely slice of life film which had Neetu Singh and Rishi back together in such an apt film for a co production with Disney to be, unlike Warner Bros helping out Shameful Classic 'Chandni Chowk to China' A bit annoying with narration but a film with absolute heart. I died of a dil-squish through many moments of it!

Aisha - Shameful admission of this one, because when I'm not shouting of the glorys of TCM and masala films, I do like a good old chick flick. Of course I muttered throughout 'that Aisha is such a meddling bitch' even through Emma, which is not one of my fave Austen novels. Dammit it had such a freaking gorgeous wardrobe for everyone, Sonam even showed sparks of dimmed potential, and Abhay, despite his petty comments after it did moderately well in places, was a studly Colin Firth type and had suprisingly good chemistry with Sonam.


Well thaaaat's all folks! Thanks for bearing with my egregiously long rambles about my ire and my favourites! What are your hopes for 2011? I for one am hoping for more set at home romcoms that are smart like BBB and more indie films getting better distribution!

Annual Bakwaas List of 2010 - Rage Rage Against the Dying Filmi Light

The Exact Expression of Bakwaas detection

Yes I did just quote Dylan Thomas in the title, I'm terrible! Well 2010 is almost up and looking

back on the movies I saw, there were an absolute ton of duds that got the Bakwaas Stamp on them. Being me, I can usually put up with a lot of bakwaas and batshit things, but since moving away from home and stocking up on crappy copies of the latest films, I look forward to watching these films because there's nothing much to do there and when a film is bakwaas, then Masala Rum khush nahi hua! Perhaps some of this borne out of my absolute ire for the uncl

e dvdwallah who occasionally has a good copy of a film months down the line, but bakwaas is just bakwaas. Warning: A lot of these mini-reviews have spoilers and an air of 'How-could-i-buy this-bollocks' and maybe an occasional swear word!

Budtameez ladki put some clothes on!

1. Pyar Impossible - YES, I realize this is an Uday Chopra vehicle to resurrect his flagging career, but if you read my Shameful Classics post on Neal n Nikk, I went on a whole diatribe praising Uday and his iconic shameful status in this Masala Pradesh universe. So I was shamefully looking forward to this, maybe because he was so earnest in interviews and in his other films. I shamefully liked it the first time round but again I was high on sweets, but a sober second rewatch and this film was just the pits. And shame of shames Uday wrote the script! Nahieeeee! First of all we have Priyanka Chopra being the male gaze object of the piece wearing the hoochiest clothes around, and no wonder this nerd fancies the pants off her if she dresses like a besharam ladki to the office and around. And the egregious product placement of Apple computers, I felt sorry for this supreme loser that Uday played if he got cheered up by looking at a Mac computer. And Priyanka plays some sort of software person, when she bailed out of school and wears the tightest and most revealing outfits to meetings. I know I'm just being a disgruntled git for raging against the male gaze who obviously got there money's worth ogling Priyanka, but I can safely say as earnest as Uday was, he should permanently retire unless he can find a better glory project for himself.

The extremely lackluster debutantes

2. Sadiyaan - If you follow me on twitter, then you'll know my my snippet of a war with Luv Sinha, I slagged him off after seeing his debut film in a blunt way, and either him or his twitter slave sent me his Facebook page! I hooted with laughter that day and vowed avengeance and then he deleted his reply but my glory and claim to Page 3 fame is tearing down a star son. I'm gonna censor myself this time round and be rather blunt in a thoughtful way: this movie was just a terrible launch for that kid. I'm not gonna deny that he tried valiantly to conjure up emotions that were probably there, but seriously a filmi baccha could do better than that! What's more the director piled on the evergreen stars like Rishi Kapoor, Hema Malini, Rekha, and Javed Sheikh who do a good job and carry the film on their shoulders. But the lead pair were far too mousy and weedy to do a good job, but I had a riot with my maa and sister making fun of the whole film which was mawkish to the extreme and awkward to watch that kid do all the typical hero work like doing a Punjabi song, kissing the gal, having a showdown but being as effective as a potato trying to recreate Macbeth! Avoid yaaron

3. Badmaash Company - Yet again I liked this the first time, because Yashraj have injected some sort of 'immediately I love you' syndrome into me, maybe its the opening aaaaaaah's by Lata that get me. But this was not a stinker in that was shite the whole way through, but that it was far too posey and pretentious than it needed to be. I was absolutely amazed by how many 'look how cool and hipster we are' strutting and swaggering slow motion walking shots, and the 'lets all have fun' montages that were piled on in this films in the place of an actual storyline that was not the beaten to death farmoola of con films. The cast did the best they could with such silly material, and the director probably shouldn't have admitted he wrote it in 6 days to Taran Adarsh on his show, because it has gaping plotholes. And Meiyang Chang deserves some kudos to stick around in a film, where his schtick is 'haha the Asian guy' for his gang to make fun of him for, I hooted out loud in the cinema when he eventually proclaimed 'HUM HINDUSTANI HAI!' Bechaara, I hope he gets some Danny Denzongpa roles, because he managed to overcome his difference.

4. I Hate Luv Storys - I HATED THIS FILM! Maybe because I know girls like Simran who usually have emotional crises and this film just magnified those situations to a ginormous level that was just too much for me! I wanted to slap Simran for being so godamn overly romantic in ways that the film probably meant to spoof but really didn't, and Imran, as lovely and contemporary as he is, was such a dimwit for being so aloof. It started off so well with spoofing all the cliches but then it devolved into rubbish by succumbing to same useless cliches.

Two Mums, I would just die if it were these 2!

5. We Are Family - UGHHH this film was just awful for being the kind of mush that gives me a cheese-attack! I for one didn't mind the Stepmom, and the thought of Kareena and Kajol doing the Indian version was exciting...until I watched it! I know I'm not a mother and all that sentimental jazz, I got the Kajol's character was possessive and protective of her kids however she was a total cow to Kareena's character and it was just pie-inducing for me. I don't mind mushy films but this was overflowing like a cheese lake, and that was no good for me. Plus How dare they desecrate Elvis by butchering Jailhouse Rock, I mean the 'Pretty Woman' song did a nice job of Roy Orbison, but tackling the King is just terrible, and why feature a female gaze object like Arjun Rampal and not have him in it for half the film?!

Well there you have it, the ire released and I'm feeling all at ease for now except for the unnecessary dentist appointment tomorrow so the ire cycle begins again. I probably hated Anjaana Anjaani and Break ke Baad if I saw it, it's just the recent romantic films are so vapid and insistent on being cool and hipster-ish at the detriment of the story, when all we really want is a modern-up-to-a-point, channeling of a Rahul/Raj persona and the typical Indian romantic ingredients that are tried, tested, and ultimately the best!

Masala Rum is 20! Now What Happens?

Yes I suppose nothing will change, I'll still be doing jumpology shots!

Well this is a very momentous occasion today, because I am 20 and no longer a teen in title but always a teen in my mind!

Yes my faithful flock that have been following and reading this blog when I started out as a hyper exuberant 17 year old to my present day state as a moderately mature but still exuberant 20 year old! I thank you all, for reading the inane posts full of few

commas, and typos, but I though I'd better do a filmi meme of MASALA Empress RUM! Because Masala is definitely my middle name, when I think of my 20 years of movie watching, and naturally I'm Empress of the Masala Pradesh state which was formed when I was a giddy eighteen year old, and Rumnique being my oft-mangled in pronounciation name! Chalo shuroo hojaiye!

The epitome of a thoughtful Masala film

M se hota Masala - You didn't think I'd forget Masala did you now? Or name dropping my favorite redonkulous film Disco Dancer now? Well since I was 2 till 20, Masala has been in my veins and my blood type must be Masala as well because instinctively I can label a movie as masala even if it has two brothers/sisters/Sheroo birds that are not long lost, or a particular masala vehicle for Brownie Moti in Teri Meherbaniyan

The Man that started it All!

A se hota hai Anil - Yes of course Anil had to be here, and I have to thank him for making 1942 A Love Story and making my first ever film viewing at 2 years old the best film to start my odyssey with. 20 years later, that film is still the most special, wonderful, beautiful to revisit all the time, which is definitely the cheesy reason I had to bring it with me to my new home in the middle of nowhere Canada, because Anil in that movie is just super freaking adorable and can channel an old Hollywood star with his gallant striding around in that film!

Ohh the emo pain of Filmi Bachhas everywhere

S se hota hai Shameful Classics - Of course the week I devised was the best week after Chichi, Khanna-o-Rama, Sridevipalooza, and all the other star related weeks. What was revealed that week was astonishing, lots of you have a lot of besharam films you adore, and hell me included if I managed to be have a BARSAAT cry in Toofan. Naturally I was the one to champion the Shameful icons Uday and Himesh with their earnest acting. I think there's some quote by Steven Spielberg about how if you can find a nugget of goodness in any film, good or rubbish, then that's the magic of cinema, and really that's me! I loved that week for finding the crazy brilliant nuggets from Toofan and Radio, and reading all your discoveries as well!

A se hota hai Amar, Akbar, Anthony - The touchstone of the quintessential Masala film by the Masala auteur of craziness Manmohan Desai, is the film that I can watch over and over to get a zap of my masala power! Its got all my favorite actors, and the best title song and climax ever full of hysteria and hijincks that only Desai can put on the table. There have been many imitations of the Desai way of masala filmmaking and really it doesn't work and you have go back to the source material, and behold the sheer glory of the piece!

The Film that Created My Filmi Pagal Blog!

L se hota hai Love - I wouldn't have made the Masala Pradesh or this glorious blog if I didn't SUPER LOVE Indian films, because naturally when the internet came along and when blogging was the new kid on the block, I just had to chronicle my filmi descent into madness about films. This is the perfect outlet to unleash my overwhelming love for all things Masala, Batshit, and downright Bakwaas. As you'll see I have a ton of lists like the Moustache post at the beginning which shows the extent of my BollyHollyMusical-itis and general pyar for EVERYTHING! And here's for more outpourings of unabashed Looove!

Most people's reaction to my shelf!

A se hota hai Abundance - I just came home this weekend to Vancouver for this celebrate this birthday in a city, and when I got in everything seemed so new, and that includes the dvd shelf. I went upstairs and looked at the 2 sagging shelves that might just split in half carrying the magnitude of the dvds I've bought since being in this country and I've been in Vancouver since 2002! Yes its quite a huge shelf and whenever my grandma or auntyji's from London come over, they shriek and go all Nirupa Roy on me and bemoan my addiction to films. Once a film addict, always a film addict, but even though I'm terrible with budgeting and earn the ire of my parents. I have a pretty fabulous collection of classics from every era, films bought only for Filmi animals and Filmi Bacchas, and the rest is all a hodge podge of anything and everything.

No I'm not really a Moody Vijay in real life

R se hota hai Reality - Yes as I begrudgingly learnt Masala films exist in another universe from Earth and there's no Rahul/Raj persona dragging me out to Switzerland to dance with him, no Chichi ribaldry jokes that sound good in conversation, no Sheroo the Wonder Bird to scratch some annoying person's eyes out in Coolie, no way of seeing life through Manoj's crazy cinematography. BUT there is a way to channel my inner 60's heroine, I can put eyeliner on as high as Saira Banu's, I can try and buy every funky dress in Sharmilee and Purab aur Pachim, I can, I can be fierce like a feisty Asha Parekh, I can buy a ton of vintage sunglasses and walk around looking like Zeenat out of Hare Krishna Hare Ram and I can be a Moody Vijay(my new word of being very angry and vigilante-esque like the Amitabh's Vijay) when things don't go my way!

Aww shucks aren't we all we all so like this!

U se hota hai U R SO GREAT - I copped out, I really don't know a good U word this morning, but you all out there that read this blog are so lovely, funny, and wonderful. Though I haven't met some of you, I'm sure I will one day on my travels, if I do ever get some disciplined budgeting skills WHich I will and we'll oodles(love that word) of fun! So thank you for reading and following me for so long and I hope you stick around for more to come!

I'll be the Guddi that still loves the illusion of the silver screen!

M se hota hai Masti- Yes a very underused word that aptly describes me! Full of masti masala mayhem I am always getting up to many pranks and hijinks. Now that I'm 20, the masti will not stop of course because I think at heart I'll always be that crazy, infectiously enthusiastic, and passionate 16 year old discovering the madness and brilliance of movies! Hopefully the 16 year old spirit won't affect my real world judgments and I'll be that 16 year old chatty kid for the film club I just created at Uni as well!

Well there's my quick birthday post, and I'm kinda glad I didn't spell out Rumnique because there's not really many words other than Queen that describe as well! So I hope you keep coming back for many posts and hopefully for a few more years as well. For wherever there's Masala, lost brothers/hamsters, vigilante Vijays, and singing in fields, there'll be Rum!

Disco Dancer - The Tale of Neurotic Jimmy and Tragic Superstar Sam!

You know you've made it when you've been named as an ice cream!

Well this is a very important post because it's my 100th! And what better way to celebrate than this charming cracktastic disco and downfall masala film? Seeing as this is a hugely momentous day at the Masala Pradesh, I'm going to stretch myself and turn this review into a mock-heroic epic, like 'The Rape of The Lock' but not really, because as brilliant as I am, I am no Jonathan Swift! But as I've taken a bundle of English and writing courses, I thought why not stretch yourself with this amazing film that has 2 wonderful characters that have enough disco ennui and pain to rival other rock stars! Chalo shuroo hojaiye!

Thy faithful addition Sir Wiggle-my-head-alot!

Of Jimmy's first disco dalliance and the pelvis thrusts
Of those Bappi-beats, whose synthesizers
Brought Disco destruction into the Masala Universe
Of Superstar Sam, the prodigal dancer of flailing arms
And shiny costumes, what befalls this bechara?
Ohh heavenly masala muse, I invoke thee to aid my disco tale
To uncover the myths of the creation of the Indian Disco idol
Instruct me to warn other hopeful stars of the folly of shiny clothes
Let not the fate of Superstar Sam affect others
I shall justify the ways of Disco to women/men!
Who first seduced Jimmy to the funky Bappi beats and led him to revolt?
Thy Gold chained Bappi begins our tale with melodious strums from an acoustic guitar
Young Jimmy, a poor urchin beats down on his drums for his daily roti
The awful Maa, keeps our savior attached to her hip
Her tasty roti she feeds him her attachment poison to him:

The shrew feeds him his upcoming Mummy Issues

Ohh how Jimmy dotes on the calculating shrew
Clad in pure white saris, she defiles her title as a Masala Maa
In a garden of riches, Jimmy meets his Eve
A happy song they sing, till her furious father enters
Abuses hurled at Jimmy and his maa
His mind seething with vengeance of breaking his sacred instruments
Mother dearest is thrown to jail to languish away
Ohh but what is this?
Jimmy has made sacred roti for his maa
His mind enslaved by his Maa Issues:Jimmy, the ever-child rock star

The leeching maa is released and insults are pelted her way
They flee to peaceful Goa
Metamorphosis from a humble denizen of the street
To a rather nimble-footed dark and handsome but fragile young man
Revenge bubbles in his mind
Hell hath no fury like a Mithun scorned,
Though full of mature ideas, Jimmy is held back by the shrew
Again the painful cycle repeats
Jimmy allows himself to be fed the poisonous rotis from his stage Maa:

Ohh how vulnerable Disco Maa has made Jimmy!

Alas his mind has moments of unfogginess
And Jimmy realizes that his tuneful songs and his guitar
Grizzled is his conquest for his goal so much that
Jimmy starts to sharpen his guitar and vows to:

The warrior with his instrumental weapon! (I'm so phunny naa)

As Jimmy works his way up the ladder
Performing at Tuntun's wedding to a dwarf
In the Darkness lurks the pouncing and growling Sam
With shiny suits and hairbands, Superstar Sam is known to all
His dance is laughter in motion
Flailing arms, gyrating hips, unmastered pelvis thrusts
Nevertheless Superstar Sam commands the stage,
All the world beckons him to sing his song
"Aawa Awwa Koi Yahaan Aahan Naache Naache"
Yet Sam harbours a corrupted dil,
Like a young Jim Morrison, a talented but rowdy rockstar
He signals to a fan
To make love to him in the green room after:Supestar Star is a music king and refers to himself to recognize his own reverence!

Sam grows drunk on the power of adulation,
He shirks his duties, and drifts further away from his artistic soul
Ohh the music and dancing he once did
A shadow of his former self
Sam refers to himself as Sam as though he knoweth of his greatness in shiny outfits
All Thrown aside for groupies, fugly clothing, and sharaab
David Brown,a young dramatic actor appears on scene
To take his paycheque but lends some gravitas to the tale
Exasperated is he by Sam's rock n disco lifestyle
"You should know the difference between a bedroom and green room"
Unbeknownst to Superstar Sam, this is the beginning of his descent
David Brown, free of the shackles of Sam
Drives around at night and spots a sweaty dancing man
Jimmy emerges in the light!
Ohh how he twists and twirls around,
Ohh the energetic thrusts he does
Ohh the forceful head banging that mirrors that of the author of this epic on a usual day!
What a talent, David has seen
What a future this young fellow will have
He foretells that Jimmy will become an idol
Receiver of Beatles-esque adulation
Ohh the promotional items bearing the prestige of Jimmy's name:

This great man gets more than his 10% of Jimmy's earnings!
And conquer Jimmy shall!

David Brown uncovers the talents of Jimmy and unveils him to the female population

With great fame comes cracktastic wardrobe items
Jimmy croons the spectacular "Krishna Dharti Pe Aaja Tu"
Perhaps the divine Krishna shall not come to the Dharti

To be greeted by Jimmy in a sacreligious cotton wool garnished suit
Or a jacket that recalls the Videotape Monster from "The Mighty Boosh"

Through Jimmy's travails with fame he meets many amorous ladies!
Oooh who's is this impertinent girl throwing shoes at the great Jimmy
It is none other than his Eve, both unknown of their childhood bond
The two young children once sang a happy tune
Both filmi kids bopping heads and shaking hips in sync
Ohh these two handsome folk are simply intertwined by destiny
Except for Jimmy's canny ability to smell through her brain and determine her social status

Ohh masala muse!
Is it thine that has orchestrated the similarities of these two stars
We unearth Superstar Sam screwy relations with his parent
A conniving but ultimately loving father
Ohh poor Sam, his shiny suits stripped of him
Blurry orbs become his regular vision after many a sharaabi night

Masking his pierced ego, he guzzles his bottles of rum down

One fateful night, David Brown visits his daughter
The badly dressed hussy resides with Sam,
Comforting him on the bad days
An enraged and sozzled Sam roars and hisses at David
"How dare thou enter my drunken abode! Nikhal jao yahaan se!!"
Ohh what a tragic fate has befallen this once music king, David muses
The sharaab now controls Superstar Sam's actions
Naturally daaru is spilt, with a fair share of insults!
"I'm still great!" Ohh the words of so many forgotten disco stars!Bechaara Superstar Sam admits that he is a "thing" rather than a star!
Daaru on his manager/father-in-law, Sam is enraged!
Jimmy's hyper reliance on his mother grows to gargantuan heights!

In the upper echeleons of fame, Jimmy neuroses multiply
He accepts some more chawl and dahl poison feeding from his maa
This unspeakable act is committed in public!
Nothing is mentioned of it, but such acts have dire consequences!
The great god of Masala has moved the two pawns
Onto a path that will affect both of their personal lives forever!
A seed is planted by the masala sprites sent from above

Such is the downward spiral of Superstar Sam!

Into Superstar's Sam's head during a heroin high
Sifting through the images of his mind,
Superstar Sam has an idea to kill Jimmy!
With father evilest he hires baddies
To literally turn the amp up to 11 to kill Jimmy
Unfortunately the masala sprites mix their masala dust
Into the wrong hands and the Shrewish Maa hears of the plan
In her taxi she rushes to save her son
Despite feeding him poisonous Freudian issues, Maa loves Jimmy
The Masala Lord above has written the story already
And watches as Maa gets her comeuppance by touching the #11 Guitar!

The Shrew is extinguished but not for long...

Ohh Masala Lord what have thy done?!
Mere Anarchy is loosed upon this disco world
But ohh no I must not question your convolutions my Lord
In the death of his mother, Jimmy neuroses reach the hilt
Masala sprites why hast thou powder flown to the wrong receiver!
Jimmy has turned into a recluse,
Oceans of tears grace his cheeks, never shall he walk on stage again!

I break with the flow to say Karan Razdan is an Acting Genius!

In the depths of Disco Descent,Superstar Sam is rejoicing!
His father evilest is pleased to see his Hell spawn in a better mood
But underneath the maniacal laughter, father evilest is shocked
His prodigal Hell-spawn has gone mad with his addictions
The height of Jimmy's mental issues!

Father reveals that Jimmy has become extremely fragile
The death of his mother horriblest has caused him
Extreme anguish and he cowers when seeing a guitar!

Jimmy's extreme fright at seeing the dreaded guitar! NAHIEEEE

It seems that the Masala universe has been dislodged
Our two guiding lights have succumbed to madness
Ohh Masala Lord, thou hast destroyed talent that thou hast put on this earth!
Jimmy has become afraid of the very instrument he sharpened
To strike and bring the city to its knees under his stardom!
And our tragic Superstar Sam, what shall become of him?
So many lives destroyed over the power of Disco
Fie fie on Disco! Let it wither, let it die!
It perpetuates the cycle of Dard-e-disco
Bappi-beats hath destroyed the wiggly hips of our stars
The shiny costumes hath made them blind of their humble origins
Two men intertwined by their passion for Disco
Have fallen to the depths of Disco Descent trying to conquer it!
Disco ist a killer!
!THE END!

Well there you have my mock-heroic epic, I never did complete my Masala Pradesh Production of Paradise Lost, but I really didn't need to as you can see above! I hope this is as fun to read as it was for me to write up! Disco Dancer is really a freaking epic film that had me hook liner and synthesizer! I'm sure most of you must have this dvd on your shelf and we can all admit that this is the best kind of cult classic that there is! I hope you enjoy my life's crowning achievement of my 19 years! Hell who can claim they wrote a mock heroic epic that too on Disco Dancer! ERRRM MEEE! Enjoy the read and I do promise I shall try and focus on some the actual good and prestige films I have on my shelf!

By the end of this, you'll probably be hooting along with Pagal No.1 Superstar Sam!