Masala Mini Reviews - The I've Been Lazy and University Edition!

The Filmi Bache Orphanage were furious at my disappearance~

Yes this must have been the longest time I've left the Masala Pradesh unattended, I'm sure there was mayhem abound here. Filmi Bache running loose turning into Vigilante Vijay's and the Anil and Chichi towns having a war at who's the best comedian. So much has happened this summer! I went to London by myself for a couple of weeks before my daddy and sister joined which was nice. I went to AR Rahman's concert in Birmingham, his first after the canceled dates and most importantly I watched 10 trucks worth of films on the glorious ZEE Cinema and STAR Gold channels while keeping my grandma company. I was also internetless at this time and unfortunately my grandma is not the type of friend like y'all to say "WOAH I love Chichi in Khudgarz and look at those jumpers!" Though I was doing lots of chores and duties that I can put on my marriage resume with my time with my gran, I can say that when she was dozing that was ample time to channel hop! Let us commence the Summer rundown!

1. Khudgarz - I absolutely adored this film especially because the above gorgeous young thing! Okay the movie wasn't solely about Chichi and Neelam daring to fall in love wearing absolutely wonderful jumpers and fugly tracksuits. It was about the Khudgarz/Selfish deeds of Jeetendra/Amar and his friend Shatrugan-the Swaggalicious-Sinha/Bihari, two best friends since childhood. I kinda loved the filmi kids back story, with Amar wearing a very funky suit and getting into a fight with early swaggering Bihari, and becoming quick friends and gobbling up ladoos together! But the kid playing Amar gave so much pathos to his character who's been neglected by his rich daddy! Of course disagreements follow when daddy horriblest wants to build a hotel on Bihari's dhaba hotel, and gets Amar to do the bad stuff! All in all a nice masala film abound with misunderstandings, that coulda been explained but ohh well at least we get Neelam and Chichi falling in love!

2. Ek Hi Bhool - It seems that as I think of all the films I saw many of them had Jeetendra, who I do like for his outrageous jumping/dancing skills. I don't know if bopping around and wiggling one's head makes him a 'Jumping Jack' but he definitely knows how to move. There was lots of dancing and being cute. It was directed by Southern king T Rama Rao, who remade many of his Southie films in Bollywood using Jeetendra and Anil's help. This one is ridiculously exploitative of my love for filmi kids, so the one in danger is Master Pinky, who my gran reckoned was Ajay Devgn as a kid, but I doubt it! Master Pinky was on the receiving end of many smacks from his maa Rekha who dumped his dad Jeetendra when he made Ek Hi Bhool/One mistake of lying to her about something silly. What I did enjoy was the middle class setting where the two split up but have to work together in the same office which is ...AWKWARD! Poor Master Pinky wants to get to know this guy who claims he's his daddy and Jeetu and him sing a cute song which goes "Ohh Raju Ohh Daaadddeeee" when they go on a playdate. There's also Shabana Azmi in a wasted role as her friend who keeps urging her to forgive and forget. There's a completely hilarious ending that involves a wedding and a tranny and Rekha using her screeching skills!

Aww Poor Rajni and his pancaked face

3. Andhaa Kanoon - Perhaps one of my favorites of all time! Because it was apparently Rajnikanth's mainstream debut into Bollywood, I may be wrong I read this in the research bible Stardust. Rajnikanth is one of those actors that defies everything about subtle acting and in turns spins on its head and adds a dollop of ishtyle! I think this is the movie is the one that began the Southie and Rajni odyssey for me! Rajni is Vijay Kumar, and y'all know that the name Vijay means one thing VIJILANTE! I'm all for vigilante films because the actors being Vigilante Vijay or Angry Amar or Furious Feroz or Mad Manoj, seriously I'm gonna make a list of angry synonyms. BUT these actors get to stretch their skills in anger and getting me on wronged masala side. Rajni and his feisty cop sister Hema Malini had their parents and family murdered by a trio of the best villains ever: Amrish Puri, Prem Chopra, and hot stuff Danny Denzongpa. And I have to make a note, I was really annoyed by the ammount of pancake on Rajni's face, he looks fine with his dark looks and in some scenes when he was with Hema they just piled it on so that he looked sooo silly. Anyway some more gripes with roping in Amitabh Bachchan here, I'm all for the original vigilante man, but sometimes he looked like he was trying to steal the show from Rajni! Ohh well check it out for Rajni flipping some sunglasses around!

Perhaps the sexiest man I've seen for a while

4. Raavanan - Alright I am soo on board the Vikram train to the best actor award somewhere! I have a disadvantage of seeing this without subs, which does hamper my proper viewing of it, but even without it I just knew that I liked Vikram a lot better than Abhishek(don't kill me Ness). I've known Vikram was a class A actor when I saw Sethu the original Tere Naam on TV once. Here was an actor who could dance around with sass and develop layers to a character like that. Again Salman was excellent but Vikram is in a league of his own. If I go far enough and say that Vikram is a world class actor then that wouldn't be pushing it, because he just is! Raavanan was made all the more better by Vikram embodying the complexities of such a character as Veera. He made Veera a very earthy and sensual character especially his chemistry with Aishwariya was seriously the hottest of the year so far! My gushing is due to Vikram just amazing me with his crazy good acting and it helps if he's the sexiest thing since nutella!

5.Being Cyrus - This was a very conflicting film, at times it was very original in its casting of Saif Ali Khan as the mysterious stranger, and the excellent supporting cast of Dimple, Naseeruddin Shah, Boman Irani and Simone Singh. But it also felt to gimmicky at points with the crazy dream sequences that reminded of 'The Mighty Boosh" skit with Jurgen von Habermaster presenting his batshit film "The Pencil" it was too nutty! Being Cyrus is a one of a kind experimental film that just works because it is so out there and thoughtful. Very film noir with Saif being the calculating Alan Ladd or someone like that.

Keep these family socials away from me!

6. Hum Saath Saath Hai - NAHIEEEEEE is my reaction to this disgustingly saccharine family film with a jumbo cast of Saif, Karisma, Mohnish, Tabu, Salman, Sonali and a cast of thousands as family members. My gran made me sit through this because being an old lady she doesn't like all the dirty bikini offerings and would rather torture her granddaughter with this hogwash! I really can't believe Sooraj Barjatya's made a career out of making solid cheese like this, sure I liked Hum Aapke Hai Kaun once and maybe Maine Pyar Kiya a tad bit, but gosh these large families that go on holiday and honeymoons in the caravan together! Excuse me while I hurl in the corner! If only watch this film for the fabulous vamps Kunika, Jayshree T, and my disco dancing gal Kalpana Iyer, they wreck havoc like nobody's business!

We're bromantic work colleagues!

7. Namak Haram - Now this was the only critics favorite that I watched there, and I kinda wasn't feeling it. Don't get me wrong I love a Hrishikesh Mukherjee film and it was a treat to see some early Angry Young Man growling from Amitabh as the upper crust friend of the chamcha/spoon Rajesh Khanna. Maybe it was my mood, as I did have a late night snack of Coco Pops cereal, but it was all a little bromantic for me! Chi chi chi you say, well apart from the good social points about unions, and unemployment, Amitabh was acting very well but more as a dumped boyfriend than a best mate. A bit of trivia too, this was the film where Rekha and Amitabh met and well ya know the rest!


8.Once Upon A Time in Mumbai - Being a devotee to the Ajay Devgn cult, I naturally loved this film, it was a really fun and thoughtful. They can maintain its not about Haji Mastan or Dawood Ibrahim but if you look properly it really is. But what I'm surprised to say is Emraan Hashmi as Shoaib, the power mad cronie to don was just excellent. He really got into the head of the pyscho, especially in one scene where he bashes someone up and smiles twistedly at his gal Mumtaz(Prachi Desai). Not to say Ajay Devgn wasn't amazing as always, but this time he got to channel his masala roots and be stylish in those safari suits and act very noble. In short, these two actors faced off really well together, and matched each other scene for scene. I also liked Kangna's role as Rehana the Bollywood queen, I don't know who she's based on, but she was very good as Sultan's grounding factor in his life. And may I say Randeep Hooda is another one of the sexiest guys of the year as inspector Agnel Wilson(really digging that name) he was really fun and had some good lines, though my subs didn't indicate so, as one insult was worded "do you want to sit on my leg?" Errrrr okay!

9. Laura - Another Hollywood film noir that was just glorious! This one is the founding father of mysterious femme fatales and Gene Tierney, bless her stiff acting was kinda perfect for that role. Her suitors Vincent Price, Dana Andrews, and Clifton Webb love her because she is so bewitching in some attractive way, and Tierney is so mysterious in this role. Its gots a very creepy vibe with Dana the detective trying to figure out who might have killed Laura but finds himself attracted to her through the stories of the Price and Webb. My god, I seriously wish I had a Walter Winchell-esque columnist like Clifton Webb to take me under his wing, because he is sooooo fabulous and gets the most crackling one-liners ever written! One of the best film noirs ever!

I'll leave it there folks as my mind escapes me when I think of all the half watched film that I flicked past on all those channels! So stick around because I have some Neetu gushing coming up soon! Till then Toofan's eyes of vigilantism beckon you back to the Masala Pradesh