July 28, 2008

Bollywood a comprehensive history by Mihir Bose

Hellllllllooooooo readers, I'm still in baking London, so on these hot days I decided to read this book above, it was trivia-tastic! I loved it, simply because I know soooo much scandal and trivia that I must share with you. Though the author's narrative is very 'Omg this is Bollywood, I'm so unused to it' or 'I'm such a scholar about this industry' he in fact is not a scholar in Bollywood like we bloggers are in the bachelor of Shashi and other topics. But some more trivia:
  • Kishore Kumar was one crazy cat! he once attached a chain to his head and acted like a dog on set till the director had to also act dog to get him to act his scenes out. Kishore also had 10 teaspoons of chilli before he completed a scene in 'Chalti Naam Ki Ghadi' (forgive if its the wrong title) Kishore annoyed Lata soooo much that through the 50's they had separate curtains between each other to sing!
  • Dilip Kumar reeeaaaly loved Kamini Kaushal that he sat outside her house and followed on the trains. He also reaaalllly loved Madhubala but after the courtcase where he testified against her, she never recovered. And during Mughal-e-Azam Madhu's stage father who hated Dilip after this- was distracted into playing carom on set while the two exes filmed the feather love scene!
  • Raj Kapoor was so pale as a kid that he got taken in to an english country club, while his 'dark brother Shammi cried outside' ! Nargis didn't tell Raj about Mother India and Sunil Dutt until she came to his studio and gave him a letter to the premiere of the movie, this was the end. Raj had two brothers Bindi and I think Devi who died really young, Raj never recovered this and thats why apparently he fell out with Shammi?
  • Meena Kumari was soo wasted on the sets of 'Sahib Biwi Aur Ghulam' that some of the scenes were improvised and kept in the movie. Meena also had an affair with Dharmendra in the 60's but left him after because she wouldn't divorce Kamal AMrohi.
  • The big scandal: Jeetendra fell soo hard for Hema Malini, that one day he organized for their marriage the parents consented, but Dharmendra flew down to south India to get his woman. After a heated row Jeetendra left with his parents, and Hema flew back with Dharmendra. She also lives in a separate house with Esha and Ahana deol while Dharam still lives with Prakash Kaur!
  • Big Scandal: Zeenat Aman briefly had a marriage to Sanjay Khan, when she revealed this to the press, he went bonkers and he beat her so black and blue, that today one of her eyelids droops down. She told this to Shobhaa De who shamelessly used this in her saucy but guilty pleasure novel 'Starry Nights'
  • Amitabh and Rekha were so besotted that in hotel rooms the beds always broke?!! Rekha also wore a mangal sutra at Rishi's wedding that made the media go mad!

Hope you enjoy the scandal and trivia, read the book its grrreat!

July 12, 2008

Meri Desh Ki Dharti

Only his face could convey my sadness of leaving my blog!
Readers and blog friends, I am returning to my desh - England, though India is my true bharat I am going back tomorrow for 3 weeks, and I am stupendously excited to see how London has changed for the better and for the worst. But could any of you recommend some good movies to buy over there as I have saved a ton of work money, and when I'm in Southall I plan to blow my money on movies. As mentioned I am not a conventional kid that spends money on conventional things so movies is what my suitcase will be filled with. Maybe some oldies and newbie movies would satisfy my money, but while I'm over there I'll try and blog some more, with better screencaps too!

July 10, 2008

Zubeidaa - Never Tickle a Prince in a Helicopter!

Get your hands off my man Rekha, Karishma and I say!
Zubeidaa, I absolutely adored this movie, it was rich and satisfying like a nice chocolate brownie, apparently this was based on the screen writer's mother Zubeida the actress from the early talkies of Indian cinema, who also married the Maharajah of Fatehpur as his second wife and killed in a suspicious plane crash. I had always had a soft spot in movie encrusted heart for Karishma Kapoor, she was a fantastic actress but she was stuck in a rut of doing tooooooo many comedy roles with Govinda and Salman Khan, and when he matured into a serious actress in 2000 onwards I was so happy, then she cut her winning streak short by getting married! Ohh what marriage does to actresses!! I think in her great serious roles this is my favorite including Fiza.
The movie starts with Riyaz(Rajit Kapur) searching for some evidence of his mother, Zubeidaa(Karishma Kapoor) is a spunky free spirited girl who wants to become an actress, but her domineering father Suleiman(oviously the most domineering is Amrish Puri) who is a film producer, doesn't allow this. One day she sneaks off to shoot a film with the lovely song Main Albeli, her father finds out and bans her from the studio and doesn't let her go to school in Switzerland which sounds like the same school Nutan went to. Her mother Faiyyazi(Surekha Sikri) is a docile and submissive woman, who doesn't oppose her husband, even when he takes up an unofficial second wife Rosie(Lillete Dubey). Zubeidaa's father arranges her marriage very quickly to a family friend, the two lovebirds have a child quickly as usual, but as usual the father screws over his friend, who demands a divorce for his son. Again Zubeidaa is in melancholy, but Rosie breaks her out of her shell and takes her out to see a polo match. After the game they meet Victor(Manoj Bajpai) a very HAWT (SORRY) prince, he is smitten with Zubeidaa, she's a bit worried of his intentions. But when a BOLLyKISS happens you know that cemented their love, they meet a few times and he proposes to her. Her mother intervenes and interrogates him she'll let Zubeidaa go if she gives her Riyaz. The way she said it readers was very icy and cold, wonderful acting. So Zubeidaa leaves for Fatehpur with Victor who is Maharaja Vijay-long name over in the palaces she meets the icy but polite Hindu queen Mandira(Rekha) Zubeidaa's spunky bohemian nature is a perfect foil for the queen's politeness. A bit of foiling, arguements, embarassment, and MANOJ BAJPAI'S HOTNESS factor bouncing off the screen, Zubeidaa is tired of this lifestyle and when Maharaja Victor-long name goes out to contest the elections he brings his suitable Hindu wife, but Zubeidaa runs in and insists she goes along, and the director leaves you with a bit of thinking about the crash, which gave a chin scratching, invisble wise beard stroking hmmmm moment.
The acting here is stellar, Karishma is wonderful as Zubeidaa many could see her performance as whiny and rubbish, but she fits into that free spirit character greatly and she handles her scenes with such elan, and it made me screams "KARISHMA come back to Cinema" and the cameraman obviously fell in love with her beautiful Raj Kapoor-esque green eyes, though mostly she looks like Babita. Manoj Bajpai is verrrry HAWT, forgive as I am still 17 maybe when I'm 18 I'll say Manoj was "refined beauty or exquisite or sumptuously delicioulsy handsome" and his performance is excellent as Victor, though he doesn't look like a conventional gori prince he makes up for it in performance. Rekha is brilliantly icy and politely rude(paradox, oxymoron? who cares, you get me) and her royal attire makes her look soo regal and elegant. Rajit Kapur as her son is good and competent, Amrish is bellowy and at his best being an angry dad, Lillete embodies the spirit of the Anglo-Indian actresses that came along in the talkies era, and Surekha another great turn for her as the long suffering mum of some so impetuous and impulsive.
I definitely reccommend Zubeidaa, its a wonderful period piece by Shyam Benegal who seems to be bridging a gap of masala usual Bollywood with paralell art cinema, it rocks! Watch it for Karishma or even to stare at the HANDSOME ATTACK that is Manoj Bajpai who really pulls off princely kurta's and pagadi well! HAWTNESS!

July 7, 2008

English Dialogues -

A true phenomenon, as I notice in all my favorite 60's and 70's movie, the use of English dialogues is very integrated into insults and climax scenes. So I wrote a list of my favorite English speakers from most eloquent to most clap-worthy. English is always used in a 1970's climax scenes with the use of BAAAAASSSTTAAAARRRD, and many angry words.

1. ELOQUENT - Raaj Kumar, his voice I could listen to all day long, with his laconic delivery , his wonderful English dialogues I found were in Waqt and Ittefaq both directed by Yash Chopra. He uttered his dialogues with a hint of bourgeoisie smugness in Ittefaq as he greets his old wife and new pathi Sunil Dutt. In Waqt his majorly English dialogues were when he asked Shashikala for a dance, "May I have this daaance your Highness" kaaaash i was his Highness, his sarcastic dialogues in this movie were so sly with that lovely voice of his!

2. PLEASANT - THE SHASHINATOR, he has such a lovely voice when he speaks in English, with his lovely squeaky delivery in Aag, to his cherubic happiness in Kabhi Kabhi. In that movie his English dialogues were said in that very frenetic shashi way, with his stammering sceeching and all. In Pakhandi with Sanjeev Kumar, he calmed down and spoke his English loudly and screamed his BAASSTARD without any croaks, but in a very pleasant way. In the Householder by Merchant-Ivory, his delivery was sooo sweet coupled with the fact he looked so cute in his kurta pajame.

3. ANGRY - Amitabh Bachan, of course he's here. His English is sooo beautiful, his interview on Charlie Rose a few years ago was soo rich and lovely. My favorite dialogues of his was Lal Baadshah which i saw when i was a wee 9 years old, "How can you do this, she is maa and I have got my strength from her milk' I had to control my laughing as he actually said this resoundingly loud, that even the villain Shreeram Lagoo looked shocked. Another angry utterance was in Mrityudaata when he screeched at Shilpa Shetty (in his slow decline of films of the 90's) "I love you and dammit you will marry me!" this was a very angry utterance as he got a bit dribbly with that one. His lovely restrained dialogue was in Viruudh when he hissed at Tom Alter

4. INFORMATIVE - Iftikar, could't forget the eternal policeman, doctor, father, scientist could i? He always informs the heroes of their plans in his police schemes, he was also in many Amitabh slow decline movies such as his awful comeback in Mrityudaata, he said his dialogues so concisely that even Amitabh leaned in to him, obviously he understood the info!

5 - PUNJABI BRILLIANCE - Dharamendra, my mum's favorite actor, and what's not to love about this homegrown Jatt? He is soooooooo wicked with his words. And in the many Punjabi backwass movies he was in, that i was brainwashed with he rocked. He shouted out his BAAASSSTTAAAAARD so well, that in the cinema i went to in India, everyone stood up applauding. My fave words of his are in the animal exploitation flick MAA, his utterance of "UNCLE king, how you" I believe the 'how r u' got lost in his shouting. His many utterances in that movie is worth one watch which features "It's only the circus MAA' 'Nimmi you vant a bee-re (a bear) '

6. EDUCATIONARY - I made that word up, but another Jatt Punjabi that I Love with all my dil is MANOJ KUMAR. He spoke a lot of English in Purab aur Pachhim, naturally because he is in London. But in one sub-pot he translates Om Prakash's dialogues to the English woman, his voice is full of nuance and pathos. Its deep, he spaces out his words a bit, almost to the point where someone could break in as seen CLERK, this was his most fascist picture ever, a sort "Foreigners are bad, kill them all, bourgeoisie are bad, INdians unit" kinda movie
MANOJ : You don't realize (pause for 2 minutes)
Man: (In Hindi) realize what saab?
Man: (Hindi) I know, they steal -
'Nuff said.

7. CLAP WORTHY - After much thinking, JEEVAN, I LOVE him, his wicked english dialogues in Amar Akbar Anthony were just priceless, his delivery in his already anglicized tone with up and down words made me laugh and clap in unison! When he also played his frightened brother Albert, and "LEAVE ME ALONE" that put me in splits, it probably wasn't intended, but alas his voice is like listening to violins! His funny dialogues in Coolie is why everyone needs to watch that movie, also for the famous scene where Amitabh got his intestines kicked in by Puneet Issar and a table, that sent the whole country into sadness, Jeevan apparently got sooo sad he sold his car to charity to hope the Big B would be saved.

July 5, 2008

Purab aur Pachhim - A Picturebook of Cool

THE Famous rape scene as recreated in Bride and Prejudice

The god that is Manoj ,Madan Puri as a nice daddy

Manoj a pious and good man, The very dhol talented Vinod!

Please excuse this post, it is a devotion of screencaps from my favorite movie, if you want an intelligent review of the movie then please read Philip Lutgendorf's post on this movie as this is a very fangirly review.I love this movie because it's sooooo funky with a capital F, it's exuberant, lovely, message-filled, symbolic, and swinging seventies. I LOVE MANOJ KUMAR, he is soo cute in a lovely Punjabi way, he loves the dhol, his desh, his bharat name in every movie. He really knows how to entertain an audience, and how to shoot a movie, all the shots are wonderfully orchestrated and everything and everyone in the shot is focused or the positioning of everyone is very expert, he is sooo skilled and by god I wished he taught cinema class over here in Vancouver
Sorry for the gushiness, back to the film: its a very great story talking about the diaspora of Indians living in London my old desh! Bharat(Manoj Kumar) is a patriotic sometimes leaning towards nationalistic of the bad kind, if i wanted to analyze, but seeing as I love the movie, I'll ignore his bahut pyar for India and see him as a young passionate cute guy. He gets into Cambridge university and has the blessing of Guruji(Ashok Kumar) who looks a lot like a wandering sadhu with a cool scarf on. Also with a bit of filler in the beginning Bharat's father was a freedom fighter who loved his wife MAA(Kamini Kaushal) but his father was sold out by Guruji's son Harnam(Pran-tastic!.) WOAHHH is Bharat's reaction to London in the hip 1970, with a wonderful montage of the strip clubs, the playgirl joints, the belly-dancing clubs, and the crazy mannequins. At the airport he meets his uncle Madan Puri, his aunt who has assimilated very much in society by swigging scotch and smoking cigarettes, we also meet Orphan (a cool Rajendranath) their son and daughter Preeti (Saira Banu) These two crazy kids have forgotten their roots and have fun taking Bharat on a boat trip down the Thames, they jig to "Somebody to Love" while Bharat looks on dismayed, on the boat is OP(A very sexy Prem Chopra) who is very much in love with Preeti, he is also Pran's son! With a bit of education the whole household is becoming in touch with their Indian side through Bharat, especially Preeti who falls in love, and Orphan who is actually Shankar becomes a Hare-Krishna. There are many subplots including one friend (Manmohan) who is in love with an English girl but is married back home, so the lovely Om Prakash comes to bring him back, but obviously needs Bharat's help. But eventually Bharat must go back.

A very sexy Prem Chopra , THE BAD WEST!

Madan asks to bring his family along to devise a plan to truly educate them in the Purab(East) ways, so Bharat and family move to India, over there is Gopi(Bharti) a girl who loves Bharat, so she is heartbroken so in the song "Purva Suhani Aayi Re" the two girls have a wonderful danceoff, Vinod Khanna also loves Gopi and another subplot is solved! I highly recommend this movie for education in the coolness that is Manoj Kumar cinema, the acting was top notch, everybody was great especially Saira Banu, I don't like her much as an actress but value her style, but she played her part very well, and of Manoj was full of broodingness and his signature face covering sadness fingers were less used in this movie! Rajendranath was sooo hilarious as Orphan and when he turns into a Hare Krishana those scenes are just comedy magic, also his character seemed to be a bit ambiguous as his French friend seemed like his boyfriend, watch out coz its a bit funny and progressive if he was gay? Madan Puri was soooo excellent in his true at heart Indian role, and one scene where he listens to his records is just puddle-inducing tears, he listens to the record then sees Saira walk in drunk and the juxtaposition of the Indian music and her was soooo spot on!
Purab aur Pachhim is a brilliant genuine movie, enjoy the crazy screencaps!

The cool coloured shots of Bharat's shock, The puddle-inducing scene

Beautiful Saira! , The positioning of everybody!

Bird+Flower+Bollywood= SEX! , Rajendranath loves his BHARAT!

A nice pairing , Raju's french boyfriend!

Ram Balram - Never let Ajit near your family

Ram Balram, what can I say, a hilarious movie when it wasn't supposed to be hilarious. I love this movie because I guess its a goodbye song to the lost and found genre of the masala 70's, as each actor here looks a bit past their masala days. Please attack me if I'm dissing Amitabh and Dharamendra but in this movie what caught my eyes were the oldness of these 2 men, their slowly approaching wrinkles, and saggy chins! Alas it was made by Vijay Anand who throws every masala plot in here, which is very silly but lots of frothy fun.
  • We start off in Bollywoodland with 2 brothers who are called Silly, Stupid, and Ajit as I couldn't find their names in the credits or imdb.
  • Silly and Stupid are great friends as well as brothers, Silly has a son called Ram(Master Lucky, in a good role) and Stupid is a widower with a son called Balram(Master Sandeep, who has funny rushed dialogue delivery) and they also have a loafer brother Chief Jagatpal (Ajit) who obviously doesn't do his police work properly and visits the brothel everyday to see Tarabai(Helen).
  • A few family fights and arguements later, Jagatpal has pitted Silly against Stupid, and I named those names suitably because Silly gets angry because Stupid is shirking his duties to visit the courtesans and Stupid is stupid because he lets Jagatpal introduce him to the bad courtesan and sharaab!
  • Jagatpal then makes the brothely pyar turn to hate by making them have a shootout, Silly and Stupid do not fire at eachother, but its Jaggu's gun! A bit sadness with screechy violins occurs, and it is the funeral,
  • Silly's wife who I'll call Ma(Urmila Bhatt) leaves Jaggu her paisa of course! But he wants more than her money he wants the maa also, she is a good maa and refuses with this strange insult. He then throws her overboard in some water and shoots her.
  • Then Jaggu takes the two kids Ramu and Balu away, and he is obviously a complete nut job and sadist too as he has lost one leg and under his crutches features a nail which he uses to punish the kids if they do something bad, this was probably a sad part as the screechy .
        • Bechari Master Sundeep!
  • Ramu is Jaggu's slave now as they send Balu to school, but Ramu's bad deeds for his baap as they call him is fishing in the sea, stealing gold, and many other terrible deeds, a few years later Balu grows up as Amitabh Bachan who stills looks long,lanky, but his signs of aging all occur on his face with a saggy double chin and other wrinkles, while Ramu grows to be Dharamendra who ages okay but has got a bit of a beer belly.
  • Balu is a good inspector while Ramu is a bad kid working as a mechanic still doing bad things for his baap. Ajit's sadistic streak has traumatized Balu obviously as when a beggar with crutches comes along he jumps up, and is still scared of "the stick from HELL!
  • Balu-poster child of crutch trauma
  • Ajit is grumpy and disgruntled with the world and wants to live in a massive house across from his beach hut. So he thinks of a plan to make Balu do some more bad things for him, and Balu a policeman gets a bit hesitant but no complaining or he'll receive a stab from the crutch of hell! So he also devises a plan with his department to bring down his horrible baap
  • Naturally with 2 heroes you need 2 heroines, we have Rekha for Amitabh and Zeenat for Dharam, Zeenat has a bigger role as she plays Ramu's partner in crime, she is also Helen's daughter who wants revenge from Jaggu, who appears to be Zeenat's dad! NAHHHHIII you say, how can they fall in love if they are related, they aren't as Ramu finds out, but the film also features some very naughty innuendo such as playing on a see-saw(You know its dirty!) and these two:
  • Rekha only hugging happens on a bed!
  • There is a horrendous amount of filler here, including some lost and found father for Zeenat, Amjad Khan as a dim villain, Prem Chopra going to rape Zeenat, and more silly stuff and sexual imagery with the flowers and bees
  • The climax point is a lot of fun as Jaggu kidnaps all the ladies Rekha,Zeenat, Helen, and UTPAL DUTT, who must be a woman, coz Jaggu shouts "I have all the women in here, come take them away!" pooor Utpal. It features these glorious subtitles that are worth the watch!
His hands holds the bharat!
Prem Chopra doing some scooting

July 2, 2008

Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna - Byronic Hero and Crying Damsel destined!

Crying and Furrowed Brows! Which couple is this?
Sorry readers, I haven't reviewed for a while I had too many movies last week, and decided to watch them all and neglected our 'sun of friendship!" But I'm back with my most undecided review here, KANK do I love it or do I hate it? Lets just say I like it but with a bit hate at the back. I don't know about Karan Johar, as wonderfully syrupy he is, when he matures this fast I don't know if I can handle it. The movie starts off with 2 lonely ajnabi's on a park bench, that's where I wanted it to start without the SRK is exactly like David Beckham filler before. One lovely ajnabi is sitting in her bridal wear Maya(Rani Mukherjee) and Byronic hero personified is Dev(SRK) they have a nice little chat about where they should be and then how life's a long while and mention the above title as they have to, its KARAN JOHAR!
They part ways, and then the movie nicely starts with Dev getting his legs run over, thanks Rani! A few years later both are unhappily married to this:Rhea(Preity Zinta) and Rishi(Abhishek Bachan). Such beautiful sexy partners why are they unhappy
Charming + sexy = failed marriage
Karan shows their unhappiness with well constructed fights that are very real and normal, Rhea and Dev fight about his failed David Beckham career, and how Rhea had to give up on her son to earn a living! KAPOW! Rishi and Maya fight about sex, she doesn't want to, he does, she can't have kids! KAPOW both Rhea and Rishi win here as opposed to the whiny gits. The two couples meet in a Bollywood coincedence and all make friends, especially Maya and Dev who look very ravenous when they see each other, they also make friends with Sam(Amitabh Bachan) who of course is who's dad? Amitabh is very dapperly dressed in the movie, and has some very good lessons in life which he points out after singing "Rock n Roll Soniye" with guest star Kajol doing a jig with the father and son. A few more fights later Maya and Dev become friends and try and spice up their married lives with funny hijinks, but through this they must fall in pyar! Love montage happens with "Mitwa" and many shots of this SRK doing his hands outspread and twirling which i was happy about, but then again the song had continuous upwards shots from his thing while he twirls! BOLLYWOOD PACKAGE ALERT!
Dosti happens but after a few more fights about sex and who holds the pants, Maya and Dev meet in the train station where they always meet,
My lovely twirling brings the girls to the yard!
And Dev screams "I love you dammit and you love me too!" in the characteristic Byronic ways, they run off but the next day they sing "Tumhi Dekho Naa" a lovely colour coordinated song, very sweeeet, but alas they return to reality and see their spouses. A bit more filler about Sam and Dev's mum trying to reunite the couples, which works with flowers, who knew the sexy people above with their cosmopolitan ways could won by ek phool? But the affair gets a step up when the couples turn up at the ballet, and Rishi starts Bollywood making out with Maya and Dev gets horrendously overblownly jealous! The next day, he confronts her and proceeds to Bollywood make out with Maya and then SEX happens! I was shocked but very happy to see SRK take his kit off, but when I looked around the cinema hall many old people left the room! Tasteful Bollywood SEX!
I was very happy with this as it was tastefully done and not to ravenous like in Murder or the skin flicks that came out, after the sex comes the bad part, Karan returns to the Bollywood of the 80's where everything comes out at the wrong time and every body drowns in a puddle of their own tears, the respective partners are told by the whiny gits, and Abhishek's freakout scene was powerful and angsty as he threw everything on the floor, but at least Preity gave the SRK a right loud slap. By Bollywood sadness the 2 loves Dev and Maya lie to each other and say all's good, and get separated through another painful montage of the title song! But due coincedences abound in the script Rani and Preity meet and she says go forth and find your love you homewrecker, and Rani runs and runs and happpiness is restored in the land when the two homewreckers get together! This was the ending I dreamed about because I have not seen many movies where the guilty parties actually end up together which is why Karan redeemed himself in my eyes. The performances were great, Rani and SRK can play whiny gits anyday coz they play them well, and Abhishek was so great in the fight scenes, Preity also.
But I don't know, the dislike for the second half made me think it was backwass, but the first half was neat. So my verdict is :